#I think y'all can already tell what part 2's going to be about

[loadedberetta]

Apartment 10

Ghost x fReader // callsign Misfit; fem no body desc // MDNI

cw bullet removal, taking a painkiller, slight blood and gore

summary: a new member of KorTac, you get caught out cold, and the only place to hole up in is a SpecGru safehouse... it's quiet. that is until Ghost arrives.

3.6k words // rating: E/18+ // MDNI // Part 2: Barracks 4

warnings: porn with plot (MDNI!!); unprotected sex (only fools don't wrap their tools); implied König x Reader; degradation whoops; possessive Ghost; slight pain play; size difference (reader isn't itty bitty, but she's smaller than Ghost that's realistic imo); hurt/mild comfort; nicknames used: callsign Misfit, girly, princess, sweetness, good girl, lovey, slut (1x)

a/n: this came to me because I've been apartment hunting for the last month or so, enjoy this trainwreck I put together in one afternoon. not betad. feedback appreciated.

How do you explain a bullet wound and other highly suspicious scars and bruises to a nurse in a language you don't speak, in a country you're illegally in?

You don't.

You keep your head down and get your arse to a safehouse.

That's what you do.

Good thing there was one in the city. It wasn't even your safe house, it was a SpecGru one. Still better than nothing.

Maybe.

You heard about it once, when you were stationed in the nearby capital, and met up with some operators for a beer.

You had to pick the lock and pray that you were the only one inside. Silence. You stepped forward. Flicking your handgun into the kitchen on the left, you saw nothing but an empty plate on the waxed tablecloth covering the small dining table.

Dead silent. Turning out from the kitchen, you moved forward. Two rooms, one large enough to house a bed, and the other presumably a bathroom.

Not bad, you nodded.

A droplet ran down your leg, where the baggy pair of pants allowed it to.

Sweat? Blood?

You had to check. Shedding your jacket, and the tac vest underneath, you sat down on the bed.

A bullet was lodged in your left hip for hours by then. Great.

Your face felt hot, lighting up with both regret and the sweet kiss of concrete you had to familiarize yourself with a few hours prior while fleeing a compromised position.

Palms scabbed, knees bruised, and that terrible throb of a bullet nestling in the thick bone.

You sighed and pulled the pants down just enough to assess the wound better. Peeling off the hastily applied gauze, you hissed in discomfort.

A small 9mil round of a handgun. If you strained yourself, you could get it out, it sat in a very advantageous position. You'd been through worse.

You started counting up the hours if it was worth torturing yourself with trying to remove the bullet. Earliest, you could head down to the nearest base, which happened to be an airfield via train the next day.

The total trip would have made up about 24 hours before being back on home soil in these conditions.

With a sigh, you stood up. Opening a drawer of the large closet nearby, relief washed over you as a small, half-empty bottle of disinfectant spray rolled to the wooden wall with a knock.

Pocketing it, you headed to the kitchen. Laying beneath the lip of the plate on the table, something reflected the light from outside. A key.

Swiftly, you locked the front door and disappeared they key deep in your pocket. Palming through the drawers, a small stake-knife was the closest thing to a scalpel, with its pointy end.

"Fucking SpecGru…" You grunted, shoving the drawer closed.

Back in the small bedroom, you sat on the edge of the bed to catch as much light as you could from the white streetlights outside to aid your surgery. Groaning, you pulled your pants down again a little and assessed the damage.

Fifty agonizing minutes later, you threw yourself back on the bed and spat the rag from your mouth, just as the stubborn round clinked on the ground below. Panting for a few minutes, you smeared away a little tear with the back of your hand, still holding the knife in a tight grip.

After carefully applying the last of your sterile patches, you silently washed up in the bathroom, and laid down on the cold mattress again, this time falling into a comatose sleep.

***

Something rustled.

Your eyes flashed awake. The moon was no longer shining through the window.

Movement of a door handle. Your ears perked, and your hands moved beneath the pillow to grab hold of your silenced pistol.

Footsteps.

You turned around, toward the door, and extended your hand ending in the barrel of the pistol toward the opening.

And a mirror image stared back at you. Another silenced pistol, but a man at the other end of it.

His eyes narrowed, the only feature on him you could make out in the dim light, apart from how large his frame seemed to be, still you recognized him from the times you'd seen him on tape... Impressive and commanding... Ghost.

"Lower the gun." He rasped quietly. It was a multi-storey apartment building after all.

A fellow operator. 'Fellow'. The only thing you'd seen of him yet was on bodycam, yet it still made you drool. He was an even more impressive sight in the flesh.

"You're…"

"SpecGru. And you're KorTac." He kept the gun trained on you, flicking his gaze to the discarded tac vest lying by the foot of the bed with the insignia patch on it.

You had to lower yours; having the short end of the stick. Freshly roused, wounded, and on enemy land. Well, enemy.

"I can explain." You offered and lowered the pistol.

He didn't.

Carefully, you laid it down on the bed and raised your hands. "Gromsko and Fender showed me this place once. I don't know how they knew. I was wounded. I picked the lock."

He sighed and lowered his gun, finally.

"You're Ghost." You tried. Had someone told you that morning you were going to meet him that day, you would have laughed in their face. But just then, you were the farthest away from laughing.

"Aye." He rasped and stepped into the room. "Won't ask what brings you here."

"No." You sat up in the bed.

He walked to the window and looked around. Without looking back at you, he addressed you by your callsign, "Misfit".

"Word travels…" You mumbled.

"Were you followed?" He finally looked back at you.

You shook your head, grabbing your pistol and stashing it back under the pillow under his watchful eye.

"Where you hit?" He took a step closer, searching eyes flicking up and down your body.

Pulling the undone waistband of your pants down, you showed him the patch.

"There's the bullet." You nodded towards the shiny cartridge on the ground.

He grunted and picked it up, black windstopper struggling to hold his frame.

"We're after the same target." He rumbled and pulled out a shell from one of his pockets. The bullet you dug out of yourself slotted right into it.

You shook your head in surprise and stood up, groaning at the sharp pain jolting through your damaged hip.

"'ve got a few more pain pills left. Willing to give you one if that means you'll sleep through the night and let me catch some shuteye too." He commented as he dropped the bullet into your palm.

It almost disappeared between his thick fingers, you noticed.

"That'd… That'd be appreciated, yes." You busied yourself with inspecting the disfigured bullet between your much smaller fingers.

He left for the bathroom and you took the time to sit back on the bed, one leg pulled below you. After some shuffling and strange clinks, he returned with a prescription bottle of painkillers. Name rubbed off, you noticed as he lobbed the container at you.

"Thank you." You screwed the cap off and took one. "Napro?" You glanced at the blue tablet.

You narrowed your eye at Ghost leaning against the doorframe as you took one and swallowed it. He barely fit in the doorway, you took notice.

"The American banker, right?" He asked nonchalantly and caught the bottle you threw back at him with a curve.

You remained silent. It was, your target.

"I'm here to observe him… He's part of a bigger plot…" He threw the bone at you.

"I have execute authority on him." You stared back at Ghost. "If you and your friends are about to ruin my mission…"

"Looks like there's competition, Misfit." An audible smirk lurked beneath his mask.

A sigh parted your lips.

"You blew the fuse already anyway." You massaged your temple as he spoke. "They're alerted that someone's here by now."

Silence descended on the room. A car passed outside.

"Security will be tight now. Working in our favour." He chuckled dryly, and it made you look up at him.

"So you did know I was here." You narrowed your eyes at him, searching.

"Might have." He shrugged short.

He stepped closer and closed the door to the room behind himself.

"You're in deep shit, Misfit." His voice neared a growl, and he leaned in more as he talked. "Wading in so deep onto enemy territory, trying to kill someone we want to keep alive… And I'm here feeding you my napro, and you're taking up my space on that bed. How's that right girlie, huh?"

His gloved hand cupped your cheek as he reached over the bed that separated the two of you.

Words evaded you as a finger brushed against your lightly parted lips, ghosting wisps of the cotton above your skin.

"I…"

"Been keepin' an eye on you, sweetness… Since you got off that train…" He explained, and rounded the bed, letting go of your jaw in the process that left you a few seconds to catch your breath; unsuccessfully.

"Didn't know KorTac needed eyes this badly, that they'd tolerate you in their ranks…" He continued, cooing when you frowned at his foul tone.

"Did I strike a nerve, princess? Hm?" He placed his hand under your jaw yet again, and gripped it tighter. "Answer me, princess. Did you get in over your head here? Don't tell me you want to prove yourself to someone…"

He rasped a chuckle from above you. His frame intimidated you in a way that sparked something previously unknown in your brain.

It was a secret, tightly drawn to your chest that you were attracted to him. You've seen photos of him, tapes, and other recordings; fighting, interrogating, or just simply being a menace on the field. His impressive (public) record also struck a chord in you. You often found yourself imagining him in your room, touching you when you were left alone for longer missions by the sly Colonel of your faction; König.

This time it was not the Colonel standing over you; Ghost was slightly smaller, but not a hair less impressive.

Legs lightly spread, hulking frame dwarfing you despite the fact you yourself weren't the smallest either, bulking up to pass KorTac's deathly entrance exams.

"Well, are you? Who's the lucky one, don't be tongue-tied now…"

Him. It was him, you slowly came to realize. König dwarfed in the back of your mind.

"Nobody…" You exalted, against the tight grip on your face. Even if it wasn't the entire truth, you weren't new to keeping secrets.

His eyes flashed with a strange light when an ambulance passed silently in the night on the street below.

"Now, now…"

"No. It's no one." Your gut twisted with a sinful delight when you came to, and the first thought connecting in your head was of his jealousy, and how painfully arousing it was to you.

There wasn't enough defiance in you at that moment to play cocky. You wanted it as much as one could have, and it was not the time to play around…

"Nobody?" His eyes narrowed behind the black paint.

You tried shaking your head, but his hand stopped you and held your head in place.

"Words, princess, use your words…" He leaned in closer only with his head.

"No." You repeated yourself in a voice breaking over the single syllable, only to elicit a chuckle from him.

Condescendingly, he shook his head.

"Too damn bad. I don't like liars." He shoved your face backward, making you fall back on the bed with a painful yelp.

"Will you make me fuck the truth out of you, princess?" He asked with a furrow of his brows.

No reply. Breath caught in your throat, as you focused on a much more dangerous sensation of wetness pooling in your half-undone trousers, soaking your knickers painfully quickly.

"Lying is one thing." He straightened up and zipped down his windbreaker as you found grip and propped yourself up on one elbow. "And silence… is another."

His jacket hit the floor mid-sentence, revealing a sweater underneath, the black hood of it already on his head.

"So…" He chuckled as he undid his belt, seeing your worried expression trail his hand. "I don't want to fill your pretty mouth in case you have sum'n to tell me…" He chuckled darkly and stepped closer to the bed, parting your legs hanging off it with his.

He grabbed your hips with both hands firmly, and dragged you closer to him, separating your legs even more. It was painfully obvious that the bedframe left you way lower than it'd have been comfortable for either of you.

And he saw it too. So without a word, he turned you over to your stomach, as if you were a rather large pillow. Your legs tangled, and the fresh wound on your hip spurted blood onto the dressing. Your closer hand flew to the area to shield it, and a pained whimper broke past your lips.

"Gotta wait for the pill to kick in, do ya?" He chuckled darkly and bent your knees expertly to prop your arse up into the air, undone pants already riding hallway down it.

"Good girl…" He drew out the words as he palmed the exposed flesh hungrily. The praise went straight to your cunt.

"You're making it hard to resist, lovey, to just fuck you without a thought of concern."

For once, he paid attention to the material riding against the wound but pulled the pants down recklessly over every other inch of your legs, the hems scraping along your sensitive thighs, discarding the cargos on the floor.

Your head buried into the thick mattress, scrunching the material of the covers against your skin.

"I still haven't got a name from you, princess… Who is it, that you so- desperately- want- to- prove yourself to, huh?" He punctuated his words with quick, small smacks against your now bare arse.

"Ugh…" You groaned into the covers, not wanting to admit yet, that this was a game you highly enjoyed as well.

The name of your Colonel escaped your mind, the empty space filled with hazy thoughts instead.

Had Ghost not shown up that night, realization might have settled in you way later; or maybe never. Affiliation be damned, it was him, there in that moment.

The gloves were gone, you noticed by the stinging sensation and the noise. The thought barely settled in you, when two fingers pushed the hem of your knickers aside, and dragged on top of your swollen lips, eliciting a breathy inhale of a moan from you. It embarrassed you, more after he chuckled in reaction.

"Those are not words, lovey…" He mumbled from above you. "Really? Do I really gotta finger you open to talk? I reckon…" You gasped feverishly as he pushed the two thick digits inside of you without any warning. "I reckon you have got to start talking soon enough… Will ya, pretty girl?"

Uncaring towards the painful throb in your hipbone, you sought some sort of anchorage in the sheets, nodding into them when you did.

Sprawled out on the bed like a cat stretching, you started making small but audible gasps to the rhythm of Ghost's two fingers pumping into you, easing you open.

"Good Lord, princess, you really- fuck, you really enjoying this now, are ya?" His rhythm sped up, and he bottomed out in you, ring finger hitting your clit with every stroke now, making you see stars.

His other hand supported your good hip, helping you fuck back into his hand.

You were eager by then, uncaring toward the pain, that quickly eased with the building pleasure in you.

"Next time… Next time you're not getting a painkiller, I'll just- God, I'll just make you take it, shit…"

His words, how raw and dismissive they were, sent shivers down your already buzzing spine, and let pleasure build in your further.

Then, his pace slowed, leaving you breathy and aching for more.

"I'm not going to let you come from my fingers alone, no…" You felt him lean closer, onto you. "You ought to talk first, lovey." His words barely settled in your ears when he removed his fingers from your sloppy cunt, pulling down your panties, and leaving you cold and dripping.

"Ah, no, no, please… No… I'll…" You breathed hastily through the words.

"You'll what, hm?" He punctuated the sentence with a light groan, and something clinked in the background. A concealed holster dropped on the ground with a light thud. "I'm listening."

You screwed your eyes shut just in time his leaking, angry head nudged against your entrance. A surprised moan rolled out onto the mattress from your lungs, only to be met with the harsher, more guttural sound of his groan.

"Sweet Jesus, Misfit…" He rasped between clenching teeth.

He didn't prod much, coating himself barely in your slick before pushing into you slowly. Velvety, ridged walls enveloped his raging length, and the sensation left you both gasping for air.

"So tight…"

"So big…"

The sounds overlapped.

His one hand continued holding your hip, the other settling on your back, pushing you into the mattress roughly.

He didn't move for a moment, but only a moment, before he drew a few languid strokes into you, settling finally deep within your walls, forcing you to arch your back even sharper.

"Got a bit sidetracked, eh, princess?" He teased.

The lack of your response prompted him to speed up his pace, jerking you forward with each thrust.

"You're,- ah fuck- you wanted this, didn'tcha?" He chuckled at the little gasps you were taking how the pace allowed it, the lack of oxygen making you slightly lightheaded. Your head tilted to the side, and he saw your eyes roll back into your head, which sparked him to ramble on.

"Can't take it, can you now, huh? Should have talked when you had the chance, slut." The longer he talked, the more muddled his words became, building a sensation in you with each thrust into you, that soon became irresistibly delicious.

Your dominant hand moved, seeking that one component that could send you over the edge.

"Yeah, touch yourself, that's it, princess." He mumbled, his pace earth-shattering and unwavering, launching you into another dimension.

Not only was the stretch immense from his thickness, but the curve and the length of his cock moved something primally deep in you.

"Can you talk? Can you, hm? I will fuck it out of you soon enough…"

Clearing your throat shakily, with the heavy frame of him rocking into you unyielding, you tried talking. The teasing few rubs on your clit turned intense in a moment, and words dared to spill out of your mouth.

"Yeah- ye-yes…" You cried out with more force than you expected.

"There you are, ungh-- good girl, now… Talk to me…" His pace did not falter, not for a syllable, keeping a murderous rhythm that soon had you teetering on the edge of a devastating orgasm.

"Do you want to prove yourself to me now, pretty girl? Hm?" His hand snaked forward, onto your nape, pressing your head down, increasing sensation to almost unbearable levels, and depriving you of your already dwindling oxygen supply.

"I do!" You agreed furiously, as wave after wave crashed onto you, making your legs shake beneath Ghost's intimidating form.

"Yes, that's it, good girl…" He growled, fingers digging into your good hip, the other hand grabbing your side to anchor you through your climax.

It arrived moments later, with incoherent words babbling out of your mouth, feeding the already swelling ego of Ghost.

"Tell me.." He panted, swallowing. "Talk, talk, princess, fuck-"

"It's you… yes. Yes, yes, you Ghost… Fuck, ah, fuck…" You rode out the last waves, and your hand fell back on the bed.

"So fucking cockdrunk, pretty girl, yeah…" He ignored your small shrieks the oversensitivity of your throbbing pussy pressed out of you, and continued pounding into you, thrusts growing shallow and erratic.

"Only for me, yeah? Answer me." He demanded sternly, as you barely recognized the world around you.

"Only… yes." That was all you managed, all care for your well-being or future consequences having been fucked out of your head.

"God, fuck, you're making me, mhh…" You felt him throw his head back, groaning as he did so.

"Prove your--self, only- to me. Nobody fucking else. Me." He stuttered for a moment, then sent home the building tension in his body with one last slam against your shaky hips, as you felt him empty his load deep inside your receptive walls. "Take it. Take it, fuck… Only from me."

"Yes, yes…" You mumbled, delirious and fucked out, twitching in cramped overstimulation.

You felt empty as he pulled out of our spent pussy, leaking and draining his spend messily over your folds.

"That taught you a lesson, didn't it?" He asked as you lowered your arse, and laid you down on your good side. Straining your tired body, you looked up at him.

Ghost was clasping his belt shut again, and adjusted his jumper when the two of you locked eyes.

"That pussy is mine now." He disclosed simply, gaze unwavering. "Nobody else touches you like me, do they?"

Unable to think of anything smart to say, you shook your head.

"None of those KorTac boys…" He cooed. "Not one of them can make you fall apart like this, no…" He chuckled and left for the washroom. Thoughts slowly came to you, but you slotted them away for another day. A minute later, he lobbed a wet towel at you and disappeared for a moment more until you cleaned yourself up and threw the rag to the foot of the bed.

"Move." He simply commanded, when he came back, much calmer than he was just but a minute ago. "Bed's big enough for the two of us, and we're well acquainted now. Now move." He sat down on the edge of it as you shifted to leave him some space.

You were still bare from the waist down, and just as you looked around the room for your knickers and pants he handed you both. Without a word, you put them on again, the cold, wet material slightly uncomfortable against your hot, still pulsing cunt.

Slightly groaning, you settled on the bed, facing away from him, on your good hip.

"You mad, princess?" You heard him ask as the mattress dipped beside you. It really was a tight fit, for the both of you to comfortably settle on the creaky bed.

You didn't have an answer to that.

"I'll take that as a no." He mumbled, crossing his arms over his chest.

Well, that was an answer.

One you desperately wanted to fight, before sleep dragged you under violently fast.

Part 2 - Barracks 4

a/n: we're not going to leave it here, I already thought of a new chapter, suit yourselves. rb and share and stuff, thanks for reading!!

[staticbleeding]

⛧°。 ⋆Waiting on the Stars⋆。 °⛧

+:｡.｡　teen Stanford Pines x gn reader　｡.｡:+

The second part!! I was not expecting so much love on my first post on this account! I am so happy y'all enjoyed the first part! Enjoy this <3 warnings : strong language, suggestive language, the usual teen shit pt.1 pt.2

1972 After the night at the pawn shop, Ford hasn't been able to stop thinking about you. It is starting to become painfully obvious. Especially to Ford's twin that has to hear all the midnight ramblings. Will he have to help his brother out, or will fate help Ford himself?

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

Ford's POV

I wake up to Stan's snoring. Pushing my glasses onto my face, my feet touch the ground beneath me. I rub my eyes and start to regret not getting much sleep. Looking up at the clock on the bed side table, my heart drops. I'm gonna be late.

"Wake up Stanley. We are going to be late if we don't leave in like 30 minutes! I can't miss the first block", I say as I shake the sleeping man above me. His arm lays down off his bunk.

"Fuck off Sixer we can be a little bit late"

"Stanley it's not going to happen." I say as I stumble out of bed and pull my neatly folded clothes out of the dresser and begin pulling them on.

"Sorry you only get a chance to see your little lover in class man, but ain't no way I am getting up after you kept me awake all night". Stanley grumbles and rolls back over in his bed.

"Please Stanley.." I reluctantly beg my sleeping brother

With a loud groan Stanley jumps off the bed and starts putting on his clothes from the floor.

"Thank you". I sigh out and rush to the kitchen to make some sort of breakfast before we leave.

"Morning dears! You two slept in didn't you?" Ma cheerfully asks as her arms cradle the youngest of the Pines, Shermie.

"Yeah Ma," Stan runs out of our room yelling and leans down to plant kisses on our brother's small head, " Fordsy wouldn't let me get anymore. Couldn't miss out on seeing his little lover." His elbow pokes my side before grabbing his favorite snack.

"Stanford! You didn't tell me you have a little (girl/boyfriend/partner)! I am your mother!" Ma laughs out.

Looking down at my feet I stutter out, "Not exactly.."

"He's too.. s-scared to ask t-them out." Stan poorly attempts to mock me. A loud booming laugh comes out of his mouth.

"Quit it Stanley. I am sure your brother will get the courage soon. When can I meet them?" An overly excited Ma elbows me.

"We have to go Stan. Please. Ma, I haven't even really talked to them. I can't ask them out, let alone invite them over for dinner. Now we must leave." I say before kissing her on the cheek and grabbing Stan to pull out of the door. 

Wishing for a quiet ride to school was nothing but fantasy with Stan. I couldn't do more than just stare out the window and wish the long rant of his would end quickly.

"I don't see why you don't just go up and ask them out Ford. They seem like a nice enough person to not throw a drink in your face for asking them out. I take a couple of classes with them. Pretty smart cookie too." My twin's words fall out of his mouth as if he is some expert in relationships.

"I can handle my own relationship ventures Stanley. Thank you but I really don't think they like me back. Hell why would they? I can't even look at them without becoming a mess and stumbling on my words. For all I know, they have a guy already." My hands find my face.

"Ford, they don't have a guy. Please. They ask me about you all the time in class. I may not have a good thing with relationships, but look Sixer, they would be stupid to not like you back," His hand touches my shoulder and squeezes, "but if they don't then more chicks for us when we set sail on the Stan O' War eh??". My stomach tightens at the thought of (Y/N) asking him about me. What did they want to know? Oh God what did Stan tell them?

As the car comes to a stop, I jump out and thank Stanley for the talk. Rushing to class, I find (Y/N) sitting in their usual seat doodling in their note book. I smile and wipe my hands on my pants. Walking over to our partnered seats, I feel my heart race quicken when they look up and smile that smile at me. My face warms quickly. My hand waves at them.

"Thought for a second you weren't gonna show Ford. Started to get worried Stan's driving finally killed you." God there is that smile of theirs.

"Haha.. no no. He just wouldn't get up." I stutter out as my stomach tightens realizing that they just said they worried about me.

"Well I will remember to yell at him later for almost making you late". They laugh and we sit in a comfortable silence.

"So what do you have planned for this weekend?" I swear I see a light blush appear on their face.

"Me?! Oh um.. working probably. Stan hates working the shop on the weekends". I say while looking down at my hands.

"Oh well that sucks. I was gonna see if you wanted to maybe.." They are quickly interrupted by the teacher coming into class with a mumble of sorrys and excuses for being late.

Quickly they turn their focus back to the notebook. It's a little black notebook that has stars they are drawing on the cover. A blush coats their face.

Soon class ends and I watch as they hurry out. This time they turn around and smile at me. My heart skips. I find myself thinking of that one interaction the rest of the day. I walk out of the school and towards the bright red car parked out front. A smile plastered to my face. It fades seeing Stan outside the car holding a way too familiar notebook.

"Don't tell me you took their notebook Stanley! I get wanting to help me but that is insane!" I whisper scream out towards my brother.

"Don't get your panties in a twist Sixer. They left it in class today, but...here check the cover". He tosses the object towards me that I luckily catch. I open the cover and see their name and the words 'If lost call me!' with their number attached. A blush finds my face. Is this the chance I have been waiting for?

"Lets go man. You got a call to make". Stanley laughs and gets into the car.

The car ride home was filled with silence as I went over every possible outcome to this. They could think I was weird for using their number without permission, or ask why Stanley didn't call, or..

My thoughts are quickly stopped as Stan slams on the breaks and parks. I quietly get out of the car and go upstairs. I thank the stars that Stan is working the shop tonight.

I sit in the kitchen watching the phone as if it will grow legs and walk out. My palms sweat against the hard cardboard cover. Stanley walks in to the room whistling. He stares at me and sighs.

"Sixer...seriously? You still haven't called?" He leans across the counter and eyes the notebook.

"This is a really bad idea Stan. I can't do it. I will just hand it to them personally first thing Monday Morning" I sigh and start to stand up to leave. I freeze in my tracks hearing the rotary dial turn.

I whip around and see Stan putting in the numbers I have eyed now for hours.

"Stan wait! Don't you dare!" I run over and go to press the receiver before the call goes through. Too late. Stan laughs and hands me the phone. Walking away with a shit eating grin. I hear the voice I have imagined in my dreams countless times, the voice that causes my body to instantly react, oh God what am I going to say? Do I hang up? I feel like throwing up. My heartbeat I can hear in my ears.

"Hello?"

Too late

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

Hahaha gotta love good ol' siblings!

[nohaijiachi]

Why I Think The Fandom Has Been Doing Aziraphale Dirty Ever Since Season 1 And It's Only Gotten Worse With Season 2 And It's Killing Me Inside

Before we get into the subject matter of the title let me preface a couple of things:

1- All that will follow is, big surprise, my opinion and my interpretation of this character. Do I think I am The One And Only Who Gets The Blorbo Right and that my ideas are 100% the way the author(s) intended to convey the character? No.

More likely than not the way I see Aziraphale could be intensely different from the way Authorman sees him, or Actorman sees him, and I don't think that my interpretation is necessarily any more correct than anybody's else.

That said, if I also did not think that I am, in fact, correct on a certain level, I wouldn't have bothered forming such a thought out opinion of Aziraphale in the first place, nor would be sitting here, writing this post that I can already tell is going to be entirely too long and might probably ruffle some feathers.

So I'll be writing the rest of this post with the caveat that I while I do think my interpretation correct, I'm also not trying to change anybody's mind nor to discredit anybody's else interpretation of Aziraphale. We can sit here in the sandpit and hold different opinions and still be able to build sandcastles together, it really isn't that deep at the end of the day; I can assure you, I'm not here to fight nor cause fights with this one.

2- With the above point, comes also the fact that I won't bother continuously saying "In my opinion" for the rest of this post. You already know that. So, if something will come across as a bit caustic, do know that it is very much tongue in cheek and I am poking a bit of fun at general fannish habits that I am also very much quote-unquoute 'guilty' of having partaken into, and will partake into again plenty of times in the future, I'm sure.

So, with that: Here's Why I Think The Fandom Has Been Doing Aziraphale Dirty Ever Since Season 1 And It's Only Gotten Worse With Season 2 And It's Killing Me Inside

A large part of the people comprising this fandom prefers Crowley. There, I said it.

This fandom's preference blatantly skews toward Crowley. Can we admit that openly? Let's admit that openly.

To be clear, this isn't meant to be an accusation or recrimination or any other -ation you can think of, I am merely stating matter-of-factly a phenomena I've observed in the last four years.

It is also not a wrong nor bad thing in any way, shape or form. I adore Crowley myself. I love them both so much it's unreal.

But I started with that because I think it is very much a symptom of the fact that a lot of people don't get Aziraphale.

I remember back with S1 there had been plenty of times when I found myself reading discussions and opinion exchanges about Aziraphale and Crowley, their dynamics, all the things that went unsaid behind the things that were said, and found myself genuinely surprised by seeing how some people interpreted certain moments wildly different from how I personally saw them.

I look back at that and I think "Oh, sweet summer child". Nothing could have prepared me from the onslaught of takes about Aziraphale that make me go "Good lord, what???" in the wake of S2, and the infamous Last Fifteen.

Now because I don't want to be pointing fingers at specific things and risk upsetting somebody more than I already am by being open in admitting that, guys, yes, some of the takes y'all have been sharing make me go "Yikes(tm)", I'll move on the interesting part and what I would actually love to discuss, aka cracking Aziraphale's head open and see what that actual fuck is going on in there.

Another preface: Because this duo is intrinsically linked and woven together it is downright impossible to only focus on Aziraphale without also mentioning Crowley, so... Let me circle back to our fav demon bae for a sec, here.

I think the reason why it seems that a larger part of the fandom favors Crowley is because I feel like Crowley is a much easier character to grasp. He is very open in his thoughts and feelings, at any given moment us, the audience, have a much easier time watching a scene and sort of ruminating in the back of our heads about Crowley's motivations for saying the things he says and doing the things he does.

That isn't to say Crowley is a less complex character than Aziraphale. They are very much equally complex and multifaceted individuals with their strengths and weaknesses, their issues and the way they each cope with them, how differently they approach their existence and so on and so forth.

But whereas Crowley as a character presents itself with a certain dynamism and a far more outward openness about his complexity, Aziraphale does the exact opposite; we can say Aziraphale is downright hermetic about it.

For us, the audience, he presents a challenge that requires a good deal of thought being put into him to see over the facade he presents at a more superficial level; he requires time and effort to fully dismantle him in our minds to try and see what makes him thick (other than his thighs), and thus I think it is entirely natural that more people latch on the far easier to identify-with, and relate-to, Crowley.

And that is the inevitable consequence of everything that makes Aziraphale... Well, Aziraphale.

So, where to start? Let's try and jot down what Aziraphale truly is at his core.

He is a contradiction.

This man-shaped being is a walking contradiction, constantly existing in a state of being coated in three thousand layers of misdirection and obfuscation and double thinking.

Why is that? Well. He's an angel.

Aziraphale loves being an angel. It is a tenet of his entire existence and something he cherishes. He wants, so very much, to be his ideal of what a good angel is: An entity who is kind and loving and understanding and forgiving.

Of course us, the audience, know that is utter bullshit, because we know angels can be individuals just as complex as the humans Aziraphale loves so much, with all their inherent flaws and capability for cruelty. And, on a certain level, Aziraphale knows that too.

So there we have it, one element of contradiction: Aziraphale wants to think that angels are always Good and Righteous and Never Wrong; Aziraphale knows that angels aren't, in fact, always Good and Righteous and, by god, can they make plenty of mistakes, too.

What else? How about Aziraphale sitting there, being in love with a demon, fully knowing that at the end of the day demons really ain't that different from angels, and also desperately hanging onto the concept of Good vs Bad.

And he sits there, existing with these two contrasting idea equally taking space in his mind, neither side ever capable of taking over the other.

What else do we have? Aziraphale loves God and wants so hard to believe in Her love for humanity and Her ineffable plan, and Aziraphale also time and again does things that very blatantly go against Her will, lies to Her face, and Doubts. He Doubts, a lot, and that requires the capital letter because those Doubts are what spur him in going against everything he's ever told to believe in order to do the right thing.

Aziraphale's very existence is a constant push-and-pull of things he wants to believe and things he knows are real; things he's told to do and things he wants to do. That's how we get "My side" and "there's a bit of good in you" and "you are the bad guys".

And nothing he's lived through has managed to break him out of this unhealthy way of existing quite yet; that's why he acts the way we see him act in the Edinburgh flashback in S2, or at the start of S1 when Crowley has to ease Aziraphale into the idea of trying to stop Armageddon with the usual song and dance of "temptation" and "plausible deniability" and "you'd be thwarting me", even though from the start we can tell there's a little part of Aziraphale who is clearly not at ease with the idea of the end of the world, and once he's been given 'permission' by Crowley nudging him, he is all the way in with the whole saving the world business, not take-backsies.

Both the moments I mentioned here are very important for different reasons, but of the two is very much the Edinburgh flashback that gets a lot more flack by the fandom and is blatantly misunderstood, which I think is the inevitable consequence of that minisode immediately following the glorious, beautiful, heartbreaking piece of art that is the "A companion to owls" minisode.

I've seen a lot of people lamenting that Aziraphale acts obnoxiously in the Edinburgh flashback and, yeah. He does. But I feel like the fact that we are seeing this after watching Aziraphale struggle his way through saving Job's children, even being willing to go to Hell for it, is a though act to follow and probably soured Edinburgh-Aziraphale for a lot of people, made them think that the character had regressed instead of progressing.

But, see, the way he acts is wholly congruous with who Aziraphale is and has always been and keeps being up to the very end of S2. Yes, even after what he does for Job's children.

If you get down to it, Aziraphale had been ready to give up and let the children die, in episode 2. For a brief moment, after Crowley told him he 'longed to destroy the blameless children', Aziraphale was walking away, having tried all he thought he could try to do to stop this senseless act. That was until Crowley tested him by making the crows bleat, cuing Aziraphale to the fact that his impression of Crowley wasn't wrong, and the he could count on him to do the right thing.

To be clear, I don't want to undermine Aziraphale's action by only giving the credit to Crowley but... It is, also, only thanks to Crowley cajoling him and giving him the right excuses, that Aziraphale feels safe in doing what he's always wanted to do all along.

He'd wanted to save Job's children, and thought he couldn't until Crowley threw him that hell of a lifesaver. He wanted to save the world and thought he couldn't until Crowley nudged him on the path of plausible deniability.

He wanted to save Elspeth's eternal soul, blinding himself to the hardships she'd have to endure in her not-eternal life, and was smacked right in the face by the reality of human suffering multiple times.

The way Aziraphale acts in that flashback can't be a regression, because there never was a progression in the first place: He'd always walked the line between Heaven's and God's will and his own, personal morality and sense of justice.

By all means, if we look at Uz-Aziraphale and modern-day-Aziraphale at the start of S1, his reticence about the whole saving the world business should, by all means, appear as a regression as well. You mean to tell me that he'd been ready to become a demon for the sake of three mortal children, and then suddenly a handful of thousands years later when faced with the prospect of the whole world going up in flames he'd just be all like "Heaven will triumph over Hell and it will be all rather lovely"? Like, fuck off, Aziraphale, you lying double-thinker, you (/pos)

Aziraphale constantly exist while being at war with himself. Circumstances have allowed him to rebel the will of Heaven and God more or less safely time and again, but he never quite managed to break free entirely. He'd always ended up being reeled back in, being fed the party lines, being made to feel shame for his independent thinking, until it all becomes too much and he is forced to step back from that freedom he'd been inches away from grasping.

Back and forth, back and forth, never stopping.

And all of this, all of what he is, makes it so hard for us, the audience, to truly see him. To truly grasp him. To truly watch any given scene with him and figure out what he might be thinking or feeling.

To understand Aziraphale is to understand what he is not saying when he says something, which is a good deal harder to do than it is to understand and relate to a character like Crowley, who very much revel in saying exactly whatever the heck he thinks whenever he damn well pleases.

All those layers of obfuscation and misdirection and double thinking that Aziraphale coats himself in are as much an armor that makes it harder for the audience to understand him as they are his very own downfall because, good lord, if you exist like that, if you exist forced to keep things hidden from yourself, well... It's inevitable that at some point you are going to stumble into pitfalls of your own making.

And I love him for it.

So, there? I hope I managed to explain something with this post, and that it wasn't just the rambling of someone who spends way too much time thinking about her blorbos. To be clear, I don't think people who haven't spent as much time as me trying to dissect and better understand Aziraphale's character are like, dumber than me or anything. It's just that this pair of angelic-demonic blorbos take too much real estate in my mind, lol.

Feel free to let me know your opinion and if you think I am wildly off mark and my Take Is Bad. I might answer, I might not, it all depends on time and my mood ◝(ᵔᵕᵔ)◜

[itsjustaninchident]

Starlight☆

Lando Norris x Model!Wife!Reader

smau

summary: Getting married means having children.... Or not? 5 months into marriage and a lot of hate and pressure has been thrown on the couple. A part 2 of To the Moon and To Saturn.

warning/s: sexual innuendos, misogynistic comments, hate comments (tell me if I missed something)

author's note: This is the most tedious and longest work I've probably done here 😭 I definitely enjoyed doing this, I enjoy reading comments from you guys and also requests are always open, I'm just not fast in making it but I'll definitely do your requests🤍

yourusername

liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri, and 1,321,987 others

yourusername oh sorry can't find it on the mirror where I gaf

view 63,483 comments...

user1 THE IT GIRL OF THIS GENERATION

user2 THE FUTURE KIDS WOULD SAY THEY WERE BORN IN THE WRONG GENERATION UPON SEEING THIS GIRL IN THE FUTURE

user3 scrolling through the pictures slay after slay and then lando norris

user4 i still can't believe they're married

user5 Can't wrap my head around how a man who drives for a living is dating the hottest girl alive

landonorris can't believe it either

user6 at least he's self aware

user7 you're both hot tbf

user8 why are hot people only for hot people

user9 this is just too cute

user10 their kids are gonna be good looking istg

user11 I mean the parents are both good looking so

user12 can't wait omg they're gonna look so cute😭

yourusername respectfully, no.

user13 oh.

user14 is this how I confirm they both don't want children😭

user15 yn shutting off comments suggesting kids for both of them😭 she's just like me fr

user16 yn is so real for that😭 she def saw that tiktok girl with the list

user17 THE WORLD IS SIMPLY NOT READY FOR THIS GIRL😭

user18 haters are found in the ditch i fear

landonorris

liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, and 1,239,876 others

landonorris P2 in Singapore!❤️

view 32,987 comments...

user1 congrats lando!!!

user2 definitely deserve!

user3 why is yn not present in the sg gp?

landonorris she's busy with work :)

user4 shouldn't yn be present to her husband's races, she like missed 4 races already?

user5 girl she can't possibly be with him all the damn time😭 she's got work too

user6 leave yn alone, she literally go all out whenever she can support lando in his races

landonorris she supports me even though she's across the world, it's not her responsibility to go to every race and she has her own work to tend to.

user7 GAGGED!

user8 when he never lets anyone talk shit about you>>>>

user9 they definitely deserve each other

user10 can people stop demanding for yn and just congratulate lando😭 leave the girl alone she's not doing anything to y'all

yourusername CONGRATS BABY! any requests? ;)

user11 HE'S DEF GETTING IT😭

landonorris i think i've made it clear on chat🤔

yourusername assertive, i like it🫡

user12 STOP BEING HORNY ON MAIN?

user13 they're literally unstoppable 😭

yourusername

liked by lilymhe, landonorris, and 976,890 others

yourusername let me fix my shoes first

view 21,765 comments...

lilymhe can u please divorce the L word and elope with me?

yourusername contacting the lawyers📞

landonorris HEY!!

alexalbon maybe we're the ones meant for each other, mate

user1 L WORD?!😭

user2 this is actually alex's karma for calling his girlfriend the squid game girl😭

user3 personally would be my last straw

user4 why is yn always outside, can't even become a decent wife and do her chores

user5 women should just stay in the house and cook.

yourusername you should try a challenge

user5 and what is that?

yourusername it's called shutting tf up

user6 GET HIMMMM

user7 you idiots, that's literally her job she needs to constantly attend events and model products she's not outside for NOTHING, unlike you.

user8 maybe that's why they don't have kids together lol he definitely would divorce her later on

yourusername checked your profile, looks like you're not even close to getting your first girlfriend

user9 HELP😭 OMG I LIVE FOR UNFILTERED YN😭

user10 these disgusting comments about yn... she's so strong to be able to handle all of these hate just because she's married to a well-known athlete.

user11 the absolute sickening moments ever for women, we can't have anything. The world does not want us to be happy.

user12 true, makes me think how she even deserves all the hate comments when she's been the nicest, most supportive, and loving partner to lando

user13 the answer is easy, she's a woman who married a man. All these men who never grew out of their highschool phase suddenly think they've got the right to talk shit about her just because she married their favorite athlete🙄

user14 YN CAN YOU PLEASE STEP ON ME

user15 calm down girl, my boyfriend's on this app🥵

yourusername oh honey, if your boyfriend admires other girls he's not your boyfriend anymore

user15 IM JUST KIDDING I DON'T HAVE A BOYFRIEND YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE I WANT

user16 she's an it girl and a girl's girl🫡

user17 she really said don't let any man disrespect u

via interview...

via twitter...

via article...

via twitter...

yourusername

liked by landonorris, carmmenmundt, and 2,309,674 others

yourusername baby #1 full of food

view 23,029 comments...

landonorris can't believe this is how I find out I'm gonna be a dad

yourusername thanks for feeding me ig now u're gonna have to take full responsibility

landonorris i fully accept becoming a father of food

user0 idk what's up with these two😭

user-1 they're literally the perfect match both of them goofy af

yourfriend is this for real?!

yourusername no bae ;)

yourfriend AMEN

user1 not yn trolling the whole damn nation only for it to be a food baby😭

user2 this is what the media gets for pressuring them into becoming parents when clearly they want a different path lol

user3 true, they've made it clear numerous times already that they want to enjoy their married life more and not involve kids in the process

user4 they're so real for that

user5 I remember in an interview of yn with the same question and she said something like "I just feel like in this day and age, having children isn't a priority for most people of this generation and I'm glad that most of us are realizing how big of a deal it is to have children and deciding to not bring them in this world when we are very self aware of our capabilities. It's time we should stop pressuring couples, more so women in giving birth because it's not the only thing we're here for."

user6 SHE'S SO SLAY?!

user7 MY ELOQUENT QUEEN

user8 slay after slay

user9 everyday i have to be reminded that im actually not married to yn and we dont have 4 kids tgt

user10 SHE'S LEGIT SO ICONIC FOR THIS😭

user11 a slap on the face for those nosy people up in their business

hope y'all actually enjoyed this as much as I did writing it😭 comments are highly appreciated 🫶 lovelots♡

[tinythiefalex]

Ouran Host Club but it's g/t

Chapter 2

Me: did everyone enjoy the cringey anime fic?

Y'all: No Alex, only you did.

Me: Oh. Well, that was basically my target audience anyway.

It's here babes! I was finally able to write the first part of the Ouran fic I've been wanting to make! Basically, it's the same as the show, except everyone but Haruhi is a giant!

HEAVILY inspired by @friendlyfoxpal ‘s Ouran artwork. It’s so cute and I love it so much!

Here's the first part, it's basically just an intro to the premise, next part will be posted on Wednesday!

_______________________________________________________

Ouran Academy. The most prestigious school in the area, full of filthy rich, young people with way too much time on their hands. Haruhi, as a lower-middle-class citizen, had enough audacity to even think she could attend this elite school. But this school wasn’t just a rich kid's playground, it had the best education programs in the country, so Haruhi was determined to go. On top of being a “commoner” though, Haruhi was also a human, and Ouran Academy was a giant’s school. 

Honestly, Haruhi was surprised that the school’s headmaster even let her take the scholarship exam, but after acing that, here she was, in the headmaster's office, one week before the school year started. 

“I have to say, I’m impressed, Ms. Fujioka.” The headmaster said with a smile. “Your test scores are some of the bests I’ve ever seen.” 

“Thank you, sir.” Haruhi was polite, but inside she wondered what this meeting was for. She had already gotten her acceptance letter in the mail and completed all of the paperwork. Did the headmaster just want to greet her?

As if reading her mind, the headmaster spoke up again, “I bet you’re wondering why I called you here. Well, even though your test scores are remarkable, there is still the problem of a human attending this academy. Forgive me if this is rude, but you’re a little outsized here, Ms. Fujioka.”

Haruhi knew all of that. “Yes, sir. I am aware.” She knew this was a giant’s school before she even applied, but it’s the best one for her future, so what’s the problem? 

“Well, Miss, tell me, just how do you expect to get around the campus? You cannot walk that far, and vehicles are strictly forbidden on school grounds.”

Haruhi…honestly hadn’t thought about that. “W-well I…” He wasn’t going to revoke her acceptance for this, was he?

Surprisingly, the headmaster smiled. “Do not worry, Ms. Fujioka, I had an idea that I wanted to discuss with you. You see, the son of one of my colleagues also attends this academy, his name is Tamaki Suoh. If it is alright with you, I can arrange for him to help you around school. To be a sort of escort for you, per se.”

Haruhi wasn’t thrilled at the idea of being carried around by a giant, but if the headmaster thought it was necessary, “Alright. Thank you, sir.” 

“Of course,” The headmaster stood from his desk. “If that is all, then we’re done here. I look forward to seeing you during this year, Ms. Fujioka.”

The next morning, Haruhi stood outside of the school’s gate. Its needlessly fancy gates, she thought. Looking at the building again, with its bright pink architecture and massive rose bushes, the gates matched. This entire school is so pretentious. She had been instructed to arrive very early and wait on the giant upperclassman who had been assigned to her, so no other students had arrived yet.

Just then, she heard a voice from above. “Hey there! You must be the honor student I’ve heard so much about!” Haruhi looked up, way, way up, at the giant that approached her. She felt her face turn white. With the headmaster, the size difference wasn’t so bad, since she was standing on his desk, about chest height to the man. This was the first time she had ever seen a giant from ground level. She lived in a strictly human neighborhood and had only gone to human schools. This guy's height was almost unfathomable. 

Thankfully, the giant knelt down to be closer to her level. “I’m Tamaki Suoh,” he said, holding his hand palm-up in front of her in a clear invitation, “and you are?” 

Trying to not stare at the massive hand, Haruhi looked up at Tamaki, “I’m Haruhi Fujioka,” she replied, stepping onto his hand as calmly as she could. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

Tamaki was fascinated by the feeling of tiny shoes walking onto his hand. He rarely spoke to humans, much less came in physical contact with one. So cute! He thought, unable to keep the awe off of his face as he stood up. Remembering his manners, he replied, “It’s very nice to meet you too, young man.” 

Haruhi stumbled when the hand lifted, but it was surprisingly steady enough to not knock her over. She barely registered the ‘young man’ comment, not particularly caring. Although it was strange to think that she was so small to Tamaki, he couldn’t see what gender she was. That’s probably not the only reason, she thought. She had very short hair, glasses covering her eyes, and she wasn’t wearing a school uniform, instead opting for a comfy shirt and pants. Haruhi couldn’t blame him for not being able to tell.

As soon as he was back up on his feet, Tamaki cupped a second hand around the one holding Haruhi. He’s so tiny, Tamaki thought. And yes, with both of the giant’s hands around the human, Haruhi looked very tiny indeed. A fall would be disastrous. Pushing that worry out of his mind, Tamaki headed towards Haruhi’s classroom, giving her a little tour on the way and explaining all he could about the school. By the time they got to Haruhi’s class, other students had started to arrive, filing in and taking their seats. 

Setting Haruhi down on an empty desk, Tamaki smiled down at her. “Welp, this is your class, Haruhi. I’ll be back later to take you to the next one. Have fun, little guy!” And with that, Tamaki was gone. 

The rest of the day went by smoothly. Class after class of Haruhi mostly being ignored, to her surprise. She didn’t know if that was out of lack of caring, or if the other students just didn’t notice her there. Either way, she didn’t care, she was just focused on her studies. Tamaki, despite coming off as a bit obnoxious, was also surprisingly reliable. Every class he was there right on time to help Haruhi to wherever she needed to go. She didn’t speak to him much, but she wasn’t sure he even noticed her silence. He easily filled each walk with stories and tangents of his own.

At the end of the day, Haruhi expected Tamaki to drop her off at the school's gates, so she could make her way home, but it seemed Tamaki had other plans. “Oh my, I don’t know how I didn’t think of this before! Since classes are over for the day, how would you like to see my host club, Haruhi?” 

“Your…host club?” In all honesty, Haruhi hadn’t really been listening to most of the things Tamaki said in between classes, so she was not sure if he ever mentioned a club, much less a host club. What kind of high school even had a host club?

“Of course! I’m sure you’ve noticed my jaw-dropping good looks, and you know, beauty must be shared with the world! So, I created a host club full of handsome young men with too much time on their hands to entertain young ladies who also have way too much time on their hands,” He struck a short pose, before smiling back down at Haruhi. “Who knows, maybe one day, you could become a host too!”

Haruhi laughed awkwardly at that. “Yeah, no, I don’t think that’d be for me, senpai.”

Tamaki shrugged. “Well, either way, you must meet the others, I’m sure they will just adore you, little one!” Haruhi grimaced a bit at those words, but as of right now, her life was in Tamaki’s hands, literally. While he was holding her, wherever he went, she had no choice but to go. 

A music room? Haruhi stared up at the sign above the door Tamaki was opening. Why would a club like this be in a music room? 

Inside the room were five more giants. One of the giants, with dark hair and glasses, typing on a computer, immediately looked up when Tamaki entered. “Tamaki. There you are.” he said flatly. Two redheaded twins spoke up next, “Hey boss! We were wondering where you were!” 

Tamaki just smiled at them. “Sorry, I had to make a small detour” He looked down at Haruhi with a grin. She rolled her eyes at the pun. 

The first one to notice her was a blonde boy, who seemed much too young to be in highschool. “Who’s that, Tama-chan?” 

“I am very glad you asked, Honey-Senpai!” Tamaki exclaimed, holding his hand out in a princely pose so that everyone could see the little human. “Everyone, it is my pleasure to introduce you to Haruhi Fujioka, the honor student!” 

Haruhi felt her shoulders stiffen under the scrutiny of so many giants. She tried to stand as straight as she could. “Um, hello, everyone.” she said with a small wave. 

The young boy’s eyes lit up, “Oh he’s so cute! Isn’t he adorable, Takashi?” Haruhi looked up at the tall man by the young boy’s side. He was easily the tallest giant she had seen that day. The man didn’t respond past a small nod. 

Tamaki walked closer to the pair and held Haruhi to the young boy’s eye level so he could see her better. “Haruhi, this is Honey-Senpai and Mori-Senpai.” Haruhi barely got out a small “Hello,” before Tamaki moved on to the twins. Haruhi noticed he sounded considerably less enthusiastic when he said, “These two trouble-makers are Hikaru and Kaoru.” The two stare down at her with mischievous grins. “Aww, look at the little guy.” “What a cute little plaything.” they each say. The way they were talking about her made Haruhi a bit nervous.

“And last but not least,” Tamaki said as he moved to the final member, setting Haruhi down on the tall table he was seated at, “this is my second-in-command, Kyoya!” The dark-haired man turned away from his computer to look Haruhi up and down with a flat look. She pushed her nerves down and waved, “Hello, it’s nice to- 

“So, I assume you are the reason for Tamaki’s tardiness today?” Kyoya interrupted.

Haruhi, startled out of her greeting, stutters, “O-oh, I uh…”

Tamaki jumped in, “Kyoya, that was very rude. This man is our honored guest! I have been assigned to help him around the school grounds, it is not his fault that his class is further from the club room than mine.”

Kyoya just hummed and stared at Haruhi once more. Haruhi felt her hands fidget at her sides for a moment from the tension. Kyoya looked back up at Tamaki. 

“And how much is Haruhi paying you for this?” he asked, despite knowing fully well that a little commoner like Haruhi couldn’t afford to pay Tamaki anything substantial. Haruhi was taken aback for a moment.  

“P-paying? I- I can’t… the headmaster assigned him to me, I wasn’t aware that I had to-” 

“I see,” Kyoya interrupts. “Well, be that as it may, Tamaki is our most popular host. His involvement in this club is crucial to its success. Taking you to your classes eats into his day and takes away time he could be focusing on the host club and our guests. Just today, bringing you here took away 15 minutes he could have been devoting to the club. Are you prepared to refund any losses his absence may cause?” 

“I-uh-I-” Haruhi stuttered.

 “I didn’t think so. In that case, maybe we can come to an agreement on another way for you to repay Tamaki for his time.” 

“Now wait a minute!” Haruhi pointed a tiny finger at Kyoya. “I never asked for an escort! I don’t need him to-” 

“You’re here on a scholarship, are you not?” Kyoya interrupted again, Haruhi really wished he’d stop doing that. “And that scholarship requires you to stay at the top of your class. Tell me, how do you plan on doing that if you are unable to get to your classes on time in the first place? This school is far too big for you to traverse on your own.” Kyoya had her there. Hell, she was barely taller than Tamaki’s finger, it would take Haruhi the entire class time just to get to the right room. 

Tamaki’s eyes lit up as he connected the dots that Kyoya was laying out. “Oh, that’s right! You need a way to pay me for my services, and I would love a new little member for our guests to fawn over. So, it seems there’s only one thing to do.” 

“Yes,” Kyoya joined in. “Under normal circumstances we would have you work off this debt by doing chores and running errands for us, but since your small stature prevents that, becoming a new source of entertainment for our guests should suffice.” 

Haruhi did not like the sound of that. Then the twins jumped in.

“Oh, they would love that!” “And we would love to have a new little plaything too! What do you say, doll?” 

Haruhi hated the sound of that even more.

“I mean,” said Kyoya, “it’s not like you really have a choice here, right?” The smile on his face was far too cheerful for what he was implying.

Haruhi was trapped.

[bad268]

I love you work oh my lord !!! Can you do another Pezzy x reader I adore them and no one seems to request them much !! Something fluffy !! ( established relationship if possible !)

Confess or Drink Pt. 2 (Pezzy X Reader)

Fandom: RPF/Miscellaneous

Requested: Clearly (I also combinded this with @strawberrycheesecake3 's request of Confess or Drink pt. 2. Hope y'all don't mind <3)

Warnings: language, jokes of domestic violence (trust it's light-hearted)

POV: First Person (I/me)

W.C. 1283

Summary: The day after the infamous Truth or Drink stream.

As always, my requests are OPEN

MASTERLIST // HITLIST

<- Part 1

~~(^Pinterest)

The ride to the nearest iHop wasn’t bad. I had ridden with Pezzy before, and it wasn’t any different than the hundred other times I rode with him. When we pulled up to the iHop, Pezzy shut off the bike and held out his hand to help me off.

“Well, thank you, kind sir,” I joked in a posh accent as I stepped off the bike and pulled my helmet off.

“Oh of course,” He joked back, taking his helmet off as well before standing up and gesturing toward the door. “Shall we?”

“We shall,” I took his hand as he led us inside. There weren’t many people, so we got seated pretty quickly. We got to our table, ordered coffees, and sat quietly as we looked over the menus as if we both didn’t already know what we were getting.

“So,” I trailed off as I put my menus down and took a slow drink of my coffee. “Do we wanna talk about last night?”

“Let me just say this first,” Pezzy rushed as he put his menus down too. “I just need to know if it was a bit for the stream.”

“No…? What made you think it would have been a bit?” I asked confused. Everybody knows that alcohol brings out the truth in people, and I was certain he felt the same. At least, that’s what Grizzy told me, so I left loose for the stream. I decided before I started drinking that if I said anything, it wouldn’t be the end of the world.

“It’s just,” Pezzy hesitated, looking anywhere but at me. “With our job, we like to exaggerate things, and I don’t know if that’s one of the things.”

“Max,” I stated, and his attention snapped to me. In all the years I had known him, I never used his name unless I was being serious. He was always Pezzy or Pez to me. Always has been. “I wouldn’t fuck with you like that. What I said, I meant. You don’t understand how long I’ve been trying to figure out how to tell you, and when y'all invited me for the truth or drink stream, I thought I would just go with the flow. If I confessed, I confessed and we would figure it out later. We’ve always been a team, and I couldn’t stop myself from falling. I’m sorry if that’s not what you want.”

“I never said I didn’t want you,” Pezzy said quietly as he reached across the table to hold my hand. “I have waited years for my dream to come true, I’m just a coward and never took the first step. I would have rather been your friend than risk losing you altogether. Your confession was the best thing ever.” He stopped for a second and looked expectantly at me.

“This makes sense,” I laughed, leaning my head down to rest on the table for a second before looking back up at him, resting my head against my open palm. “Our whole friendship has been flirty because we were harboring feelings for each other. It’s no wonder the fans thought we were dating the first day I joined your stream.”

“No way the fans clocked us first,” Pezzy groaned as he smacked his face into his hand. Just then the waiter showed up to place our orders. We both ordered our breakfasts/lunches, and the waiter took off to put the orders in. That’s when Pezzy turned his attention back to me,” So where does this leave us?”

“Where do you want us to go from here?” I teased, taking a small sip of my coffee as I eyed Pezzy over the rim of the mug.

“I’d like to take you out,” Pezzy replied confidently as he also took a sip from his coffee, looking at me the same way I looked at him.

“I really hope you mean on a date,” I chuckled, causing Pezzy to choke on the hot liquid.

“Well, what the hell else would I mean?” He hissed as he leaned closer, confused.

“Take me out like,” I pause as I make a gesture of slicing my neck. Pezzy’s expression went from confusing to shock in seconds as I laughed. “I’m kidding just so you know.”

“I would hope so! I’d never take you out like that!” Pezzy gasped before smirking. “I’d use a gun.”

“Woah! Not even through our first date and you're talking about murdering me,” I said a little louder than the rest of our conversation as the few patrons looked over at us concerned. Pezzy frantically slapped at my arms to get me to quiet down. “Oh, and now you’re hitting me? This is domestic abuse!”

“No, no, no, stop,” He groaned with a small smile, knowing this was just how I liked to tease him. Everyone was still looking over at us, concerned, so Pezzy tried to remedy the situation. “It’s fine, we’re joking!”

“Um, your food,” The waiter said confused as he stood in front of our table with the food. 

“Oh, thank you,” Pezzy said, uncomfortable with the amount of eyes on us. 

“If we didn’t take the bike, I would suggest we take it to go,” I laughed as the waiter set our food down.

“We still could,” Pezzy offered. “I could drive slower than normal and we could head home. Or we could go to the park that’s like a block away.”

“I like that plan,” I smiled at Pezzy before turning my attention to the waiter. “Could we next boxes and the check please?”

Later that night Grizzy and Droid came back to the house, and we had Puffer over again. We didn’t plan on filming, but we were a group of friends who had nothing else better to do that night. We were all sitting in Grizzy’s recording room as the four of them played Mario Kart. I sat at Grizzy’s desk, so I could read chat.

“What happened after the stream? I need to know.” A lot of the chat had this or something similar, and part of me wanted to ignore it, but another part of me wanted to see what Pezzy felt.

“Hey guys,” I got their semi-attention because they were in the middle of a lap, “Chat wants to know what happened after the stream.”

“Pezzy got laid, that’s what,” Droid said immediately as all of the guys laughed minus Pezzy and myself. “Okay, not really. Grizzy and I stayed at Puffer’s place.”

“And we went to iHop,” Pezzy said just before cursing as he got hit by a red shell.

“Is that code for something?” Puffer whispered to Grizzy but their mics caught it clearly.

“No, it’s not code for anything,” I laughed at them. “We went to iHop, made a few questionable jokes about killing each other, and left to come home. It’s not that deep.”

“Not that deep! Pezzy never goes to iHop!” Grizzy pointed out as they all crossed the finish line with Puffer winning (shocker!). “He must really like you if you convinced him to go to iHop.”

“He took me there on his own accord,” I admitted as I put my hands up in mock surrender. 

“Because I know you like it!” Pezzy defended himself, and silence fell around the room. All of us looked between each other before I slowly turned my attention back to the screens. I briefly looked directly into the camera before leaning into the microphone.

“Pezzy and I may or may not be together now, so that also happened,” I whispered into the mic before glancing back at the rest of the boys who were not shocked at all.

“FUCKING FINALLY!”

~~~~~

© BAD268 2024. DO NOT REPOST WITHOUT PERMISSION.

[cookie-crumblr]

G/N! Royal Reader × Yandere Prince OC

If the Crown fits👑✨

Part 1, 2~

His Info 🕯️📜

!!!MINORS DNI!!!

Synop: You are a royal, expected to marry the realms’ crown royal. You don't like him at first but he wins you over, yada yada~ It's SMUT✨

CW: GN! Reader, no bodily or genitalia descrips for reader, arranged marriage(more so encouraged), i don't think any for this part????? lemme no! love y'all darlings! Short part!!!

"But father, you can't truly expect me to marry that-”

"You will hold your tongue, child.” The tall man interrupts. “and you will marry Prince Kastriot." He slams down his gilded cane so that it bounces back up to his grasp. As he storms out, the queen, your mother, flits in like a six foot three butterfly that more than aced her elegance training.

"Now, how you go about it, darling... Just don't do anything I wouldn't have done," she kisses your forehead.

"Mother... You assassinated an entire retinue comitatus to get to father.” You roll your eyes.

"I said what I said." she dainty wiggles her fingers as a wave while she departs from your bedroom's antechamber.

You fall onto the plush furs covered sofa, the fireplace across from you crackles, usually soothing, are far too loud at the moment. You're grating your teeth when your pet fox bounds up to you.

You let out the air you hadn't realized you were holding. How can you be stressed while henry is here?

You can't.

You scritch his chin, his leg kicks the air signifying you're on point.

*We should get some rest, Henry, it's my coming out tomorrow." You sigh and pat his muzzle affectionately.

Later~

"The moon's still out, Henry, it's fine," You can almost hear the fox saying you need sleep through his wines.

You're still up.

Unable to sleep, you started sifting through most recent political setbacks of your kingdom. People need liberated here, more housing there, while the year's social season starts.

You glance out the window, and instead of glittering blackness, you are greeted with the deep tell tale pink and orange slash across the horizon.

"Oh gods!! Now!?" You grab a thick, old tome, and fill it with some important receipts, then slam it shut, stuff it into your satchel, and rush out of your father's office.

You're retainers rush around the room with an undeniable vibrancy. Everyone loves the social season...

But your stomachs in knots.

You aren't "being forced to marry Prince Kastriot, but you are definitely being forced to marry him.

You don't even know the man! You always had the typical dream every royal shares... To marry for love.

But like with most royals, that dream is squashed like insects beneath the boots of your parents.

You zone back in when some one punches you as they tie a ribbon, their face is twisted in absolute horror and it confuses you.

"What’s the matter, Eliza? You inspect her further, hoping she's unharmed.

“Y-you know my— I’m sorry, I pinched you... Your royal highness”

You almost bark out a laugh but with your own training you manage to keep it fully hidden. "Oh, my, uh, listen, you don't have to worry too much here, it's not even in a visible place, let's move along please,”

You raise your arms for the other retainers and courtiers.

She looks relieved as she gets back to tying and fastening little bits and pieces of your outfit.

You stifle an overwhelmingly strong yawn.

Fuck.

Your second wind is already dying out, and it's not even time for brunch and touring the park.

"What is the attack plan for the day, darling?" Your mother asks politely, between small sips of her tea.

"Mom, No." You go to stand it's almost time to prepare for the tour anyway.

She predictably stops you, but just briefly, "Do take care, your highness."

You roll your eyes with a groan.

Henry trots along, happily trailing you. Tongue lolling and tail wagging like a dog's.

It's almost a picture perfect day really.

But...

Where's your father?

Presentation Time~

Now you know where he was, because regardless of alphabetical order you are in the last place.

Most likely so that you have the optimal chance to leave a lasting impression.

They'll be tired and bored by then, If you want to go along with it you should be exciting and flamboyant, but be careful to not overdo it, this is a proper event in from of the two kings of kings, and their son, after all.

Then again…

You could also try and sabotage your presentation to court… It might possibly ruin your chances with the crown prince… That would save you from marring someone you don’t know, but that would also bring forth your kingdom’s downfall.

[tixdixl]

"Clear the catwalk. It's time to steal the spotlight!"

Groovy: [LOCKED]

Set Home: Let's do this thing!

Home Transition 1: What? You think I cast an illusion spell? Darling, I haven't even begun casting magic~.

Home Transition 2: I've already mapped out a possible plan if all goes awry. Just trust me!

Home Transition 3: I really appreciate Silver recommending me for this mission. Every aspect of this is right up my alley. From performance, to theft, there's no part of this I can't do well.

Home, after Login: Not to be petty on main, but it's incredibly striking to me that no one from Pomefiore is here. Intriguing.

Home Transition, Groovification: [LOCKED]

Tap Home 1: I'll be honest, I don't think I ever imagined Ace feeling at home on a catwalk. Then again, life is full of surprises.

Tap Home 2: Ortho looks S. T. U. N. N. I. N. G! ...but can he actually see though?

Tap Home 3: The fairies keep looking at me. I can't tell if they are enraptured or if they are gossiping.

Tap Home 4: Feel free to guess what's a lie and what's the truth. I promise... you'll find yourself in a maze.

Tap Home 5: Something something Oceans 8 reference here, yeah?

Tap Home, Groovification: [LOCKED]

~~~

So... this was definitely an art piece that I realized what felt off about it AFTER I finished rendering and it was too late for me to fix it. So y'all better be ready when I sit down and finish their groovy art. Cause realest shit? I'm going to try to push myself to make it the best illustration I've made thus far. I'm DETERMINED!!!! Lol

Legit though, this was the first event that I came across where I was like... No, René is DEFINITELY in this. There's no question about it. So it was only a matter of time before I made this card.

Tag List: @ramshacklerumble @elenauaurs @rainesol @inmateofthemind @starry-night-rose

@cyanide-latte @blithesharem @theleechyskrunkly @thehollowwriter @boopshoops

@the-trinket-witch

Lmk if you want added/removed!

[luigisblueoveralls]

First Shower

Luigi x Reader

Summary: After you and Luigi's first time having bedroom fun, you decided you needed to refresh yourselves in the shower.

Notes: SFW, just fluffness and shy but loving Luigi. This is a part 2 to the First Time 🔥 post I did a few days back. Hope you all enjoy!

(F/S)=Favorite Scent

💚

You scurried into the bathroom and turned the shower water on, with Luigi behind you as well. The both of you were both relieving what happened in your minds, and you both enjoyed it so much. It was a perfect first time. You turned back around to see Luigi was already staring at you. He quickly averted his eyes, realizing he was caught peeking at your body.

"Lui, you can stare. I don't mind." You reassured him.

Luigi bashfully chuckled as you checked the water temperature. Perfect. You turned and Luigi was standing there, waiting patiently while having his hands together.

"You ready?" You asked him.

He nodded, with his face covered in a shade of pink. This was definitely a different type of intimacy for Luigi and you can tell he was nervous about it. You stepped in but Luigi didn't follow you in.

"Come on, Lui!" You called for him.

You could hear Luigi take a deep breath in and then out and then he stepped inside the shower with you.

"Oo ah! A little toasty there!" Luigi cried out as soon as the warm water hit his back.

"Oh, it's not that bad." You reassured him.

Once Luigi got used to the water, he got up close to you, your naked chests nearly touching each other.

"You okay?" You asked him since he was flustered pink.

"Yeah, yeah. I am. You're just so beautiful, (Y/N)." Luigi told me.

You couldn't help but blush from his statement.

"So are you." You told him, poking his chest.

Luigi chuckled in response. Luigi was tall and not necessarily skinny. He had some pudge on him, but even then, he was still insecure with his body. He has told you that from the get-go, but you thought he was the most handsome man in the world. You then grabbed some of Luigi's shampoo, squirted some into your hand, and rubbed your hands together.

"Ready?" You asked him.

Luigi nodded as he leaned his down lower for you. You then lathered the shampoo all into his hair, massaging the soap into his scalp and hair. You wanted to make his short, brown locks squeaky clean for your fingers to run through when you are going to sleep. That was his favorite thing to go to sleep to was you running his fingers through your hair. It soothed him and helped him relax. You then took a tiny drop of shampoo and massaged the soap into his mustache, making the both of you giggle.

"Your mustache is so long, but it looks so good on you." You complimented Luigi, making him giggle.

"Does it really? I've always wondered what I would look like without it, but it's become my thing at this point." Luigi said while twirling it.

"Don't ever get rid of it!" You joked while poking him playfully and Luigi laughed in response.

You forgot how ticklish he was, but it was honestly so cute of him. Luigi then backed to under the shower head and rinsed all of the shampoo off of him. As the soap trinkled down his body, you couldn't help but admire him. Y'all have been together for a while now, and you hoped you both had many years to come. Luigi had hints of proposing to you, and you aren't in any rush to do that for you know a ring, wedding, and a honeymoon cost a lot of money. You both have been saving a lot for it and hope that it would be the best day of your lives. Once Luigi got all of the shampoo out, he shook his hair like a dog, and the hair was all in his eyes. You laughed at his antics. He always knew how to make you laugh.

"I think you need a hair trim is what you need." You commented, moving the hair out of his face so you could see his beautiful blue eyes.

"Hm, maybe. I liked how you trimmed my hair last time." Luigi commented, making you smile.

"Maybe I'll do that after we get out." You suggested.

Luigi smiled in response. He loved it when you trimmed his hair. Not only was it free but also cause it was a different bonding experience for the both of you. Sometimes, he lets you trim his mustache, but that was once in a blue moon. You then reached for some body soap and put some into your hand. You lathered your hands in the soap and began massaging his chest, making sure to get good where his the small patch of chest hair that he had. Luigi just watched you intently as you continued to wash his body, as if he was put under a spell. He thought you were the most beautiful woman in the world. Your personality, your looks, your body, it was all perfect in his eyes. You've been so good to him and being patient with him with his anxiety. You loved dogs while he was terrified of them, but he has welcomed the idea of a small dog into the house soon, maybe a Daschund or a mini Australian Sheppard. Luigi loved animals, and he loved you, so he was willing to try for you. As if you were reading his mind, you asked him this.

"So have you decided on whether you'd want a Daschund or a mini Aussie?"

Luigi shrugged his shoulders.

"Daschunds can be loyal while also stubborn as hell, but mini Aussie's can have big herding tendencies since they are a working breed." You explained to him.

"I think a Daschund would be just fine." Luigi told you, making you happy.

"Okay. We can look at local shelters and see what they have." You suggested.

You then turned Luigi around and started scrubbing his back.

"I'll let you get a cat too." You suggested, wanting to make it fair for him.

You knew Luigi loved cats, and even though you weren't exactly a huge fan of them, albeit you were a dog person, you still liked them and wanted it to be fair for Luigi.

"That would be nice." Luigi said as you finished his back.

He got under the water again to rinse the soap off of him. Once he was finished, he turned to you.

"What?" You asked.

"You're just so pretty. I can't keep my eyes off of you." Luigi complimented you, gazing at you.

He always praised you, and it made you feel so good about yourself. Luigi then grabbed your (F/S) shampoo, put some in his hands, and gently began lathering the soap into your hair. Just feeling his fingers in your scalp made you go into zen mode. It was like he was massaging your brain in a way, and it felt so good to you. It felt that good to you that you ended up leaning your head onto his chest.

"You good?" Luigi asked you, a little caught off guard from your action.

"Yeah." You said, his warm chest soothing you.

Luigi continued to wash your hair until it was completely washed.

"Aw you're done?" You jokingly whined, leaning away from his chest.

Luigi moved you to the shower head and rinsed your hair himself. Your hair felt so clean and refreshing. Luigi then grabbed your favorite body soap and put some of it into his hands. Once he began massaging your body with the soap, you can see his face flushing with pink as he moved down to your breasts, massaging the soap onto them. You giggled at his pink face.

"S-Sorry." Luigi muttered.

"No, no, don't be sorry, Lui. I'm just messing with you." You reassured him.

"Oh, okay." Luigi chuckled as he moved down down to your legs.

He then sat up and moved to your back. He made sure to get every inch of your body. This was such a perfect moment between you two. Once Luigi was finished, he then rinsed your body, just absolutely gazing at you. He then finished and brought you into a warm hug. You immediately hugged him back tightly, feeling his love for you all in that hug.

"I love you, (Y/N)." Luigi told you while rubbing your back.

"I love you too, Luigi." You said back.

You wanted Luigi to be your husband so much. You wanted to have a family with him and grow old together with him. He was the perfect person to do that with. You both stood there hugging each other until the water eventually got cold and you both stepped out, got into some clothes, and fell asleep in each other's arms. You cannot wait to wake up the next morning to see your beautiful boyfriend's blue eyes and his friendly smile as the dawn rises into the next day.

💚

Here's the part 2 that y'all were waiting for! I'm sorry if it's shorter than my other works, but I hope y'all enjoyed it regardless. And to the three that requested, I am working on those as we speak, but I'll be going in order as to who requested first and then so forth. I hope y'all enjoyed this!

[fearandhatred]

The Alternate Coffee Theory

okay i've been thinking about this a lot. like an unhealthy amount. so: the coffee that the metatron buys for aziraphale is obviously significant. however.

i'm starting to think that its significance really doesn't have that much of a role to play in season 3's plot as we might think, or as the coffee theory might suggest. it might honestly just be important because of all that it symbolises in the last episode, aka earthly desires and by extension, the metatron's hatred of humans and crowley. hear me out

Give Me Coffee or Give Me Death, aka The Metatron Hates Humanity

when i tell y'all i genuinely even tried abbreviating Large Oat Milk Latte With A Dash Of Almond Syrup in case there was some subliminal hidden message in that order... yeah that didn't work out. but honestly i think the main thing to take away from this scene is that the metatron hates humans.

the metatron (so demeaningly): your establishment. i assume they always ask for coffee (eye roll) (deep sigh) (dripping with sarcasm)

nina: no one ever asks for death no :)

the metatron (mockingly): no i don't suppose they doooooo. sooo predictable

the metatron does not mention anything about the world or humans when he's talking to aziraphale (at least not what is shown to us, but if he didn't at all then it's very interesting that aziraphale didn't pick up on that, but that's a whole separate thing).

what this scene with the coffee mostly does is establish the metatron as The Antagonist of season 3. yeah, it's already hinted by the second coming bomb drop, but this solidifies it: he thinks of himself as superior to humans, he genuinely does not care what happens to them. and it'll be harder to change his mind (which aziraphale will undoubtedly try to) because of this.

"Where Would I Get My Coffee?" aka Aziraphale Exposing His Priorities, aka The Metatron Hates Crowley

this is where i think the coffee is REALLY important. it draws out some interesting conversations between the metatron and aziraphale that go exactly how the metatron intended. and also, while the previous scene shows how he hates humans, everything from that point on shows that he hates crowley.

"shall i?" "drink it? of course. i've ingested things in my time."

this has definitely been said before but to reiterate, the metatron is trying to appeal to aziraphale here with human things, which is funny considering we've established that he hates humans. i think from this point onwards, the metatron is trying to parse out just how attached aziraphale is to humanity.

you can kind of see his intent when aziraphale says the coffee is very nice and he replies "yes, i should jolly well hope so". when i first heard that i was all ???? why the hell did he say it like that? but i think it's him confirming that yes, aziraphale partakes in earthly pleasures. maybe there's something to be said here about gluttony being a sin? no idea. so yes, aziraphale loves the world. but then:

2. "where would i get my coffee?"

now THIS is interesting. because aziraphale says "no, i don't want to go to heaven. where would i get my coffee?" and the metatron doesn't say anything like "as archangel you can go wherever you want. you can come back to earth and drink coffee. you can manifest coffee in heaven."

NO. he says "you can have crowley with you". it's a very pointed segue. and if we take it that we are shown all the important parts of the conversation, that means that aziraphale accepts the offer pretty much right after learning that he can be with crowley.

so in the previous point, in the bookshop, the metatron confirms that aziraphale loves and knows humanity. now here, he confirms (this is what he thinks, at least) that aziraphale loves humanity, and he loves crowley more. and to him, this is A Major Problem.

The Offer, aka The Metatron's True Intentions

okay, now let's talk about the metatron's offer to 1. make aziraphale an archangel, and 2. make crowley an angel too.

yes, the second coming is the metatron's major goal. yes, he wants aziraphale to help. but not in the way he thinks: he wants aziraphale to help by getting out of the way. this means that the offer to make crowley an angel again was genuine, because no matter which way it goes, him and heaven benefit from this.

aziraphale and crowley, together, loving humanity, is literally all that stands between heaven and The Ineffable Plan, because that was the case for Armageddidn't. if the metatron gets both of them to go to heaven, fantastic! the troublemakers removed willingly from humanity and doing good (aka advancing the plan).

if crowley refuses to go with aziraphale, fantastic! he knows how much aziraphale relies on crowley. he thinks they're weaker when they're not together. by separating him from all that he loves and directing his attention elsewhere, that's when they can really start doing things.

Coffee Recap and What This Means For Season 3

ok so. tldr. the coffee was placed in the show for symbolic reasons, to set up all these scenes and conversations and show the metatron's true intentions. maybe the coffee even represents aziraphale's attachment to things that are decidedly not heaven, but are in fact heaven's rejects. heaven's fallen. the metatron has decided to make that his problem.

now maybe they really will brainwash aziraphale in heaven, or refuse to let him go back to earth or communicate with crowley in any way. but that doesn't take away from the fact that aziraphale went up there for what he genuinely believes is right, and that is what matters to me, honestly.

but this makes the metatron a lot more sinister than i originally thought. he's very smart; that offer he made wasn't an offer at all, because either way it went would have benefited him. and the fact that he's thought this through means that this is definitely not the end. crowley is probably in danger. aziraphale will be put under a lot of control that would be hard to break free of.

i don't think there's a possibility of them changing the metatron's mind, but i might be wrong. i do think that the season will end with humanity saved and heaven becoming a better place, maybe a joint partnership with hell, but whether they defeat the metatron or somehow make the whole of heaven and hell see sense is past me.

[serendertothesquad]

Seren's Studies: Odd Squad UK -- "The Odd Ness Monster" Episode Followup, Part 1

10 years and we finally get our first look at Odd Squad's take on Nessie. It's sure to be an odd-essie.

...Yeah, even I cringed halfway into that pun.

I hear this is a good episode, so let's hope those folks are right. At this point I'm like a kid at Christmas who didn't get what they wanted from Santa but will abso-fuckin'-lutely keep screaming and begging.

Below the break!

And your writer for this episode, who has an extensive resume and has written for quite a few things, including some kids stuff. Already off to a solid start, but I'm very cautiously optimistic.

Hey, remember the Thrimes from Season 2? Meet their sister.

Wouldn't be the first time we've had a cold open with mimes, either. I'm blanking on which episode, but I distinctly remember a Season 1 cold open that had a mime who threw berets at Olive and Otto and had terrible rapping skills.

(Editing note: It was "A Case of the Sing-Alongs", that's it!)

God, it's like dangling fuckin' keys with these children. Byootiful.

"Ma'am, you're not really trapped in an invisible glass box!"

Which, of course, is the mime equivalent of telling a magician to their face that magic isn't real. Way to be an ass, Orli.

At the very least, Orli's more patient with mimes than Olive and Otto combined. And the entire Season 2 cast bar Oona.

Yeah, speaking of Season 1...this is reminding me of the cold open with the man who had to apologize to the ocean because he said it was cold, then Olive running right into a barrier because she complained about the sand being too hot.

I think you can tell which one's played better.

If you listen real close, you can hear Pink's "Get the Party Started" playing faintly in the background.

...Oh. It's New Year's. Which was already done better in Season 1 and guys, really, can we stop with the Season 1 references? God sakes, they're getting old and I'm trying to keep the cynic glasses off for this one.

I'm...not too clear on what you have to do to win the raffle, but it sounds like "find the next" after playing it back five times over.

Is it...find the next season? Because I can do that! Gimme that copium, bitch, and lemme rip!

(Few seconds in: it's "find an X".)

Ohhhh come now. Y'all knew they were gonna win it. They have side character superiority. They're part of the main plot. Of course they're gonna win it.

*giggles uncomfortably*

My mind, tainted by years of watching horrifying PSAs and PIFs, is going in very dark places right now.

LOOKIT THIS SMUG SONUVABITCH. SHE KNOWS SHE'S LEADIN' 'EM TO THE ODD NESS MONSTER. SHE K N O W S .

Their prize is a chance at death. And not just their deaths.

(On a side note: this elevator is playing the smooth jazz version of "Take Away One", which is a brilliant touch, but I find it was better executed in "Old Odd, New Tricks". Apparently it was also in "Lift Off" too, but my point still stands.)

"A place where no one has been in many moons."

Hehehe byootiful. All right, fandom, get crackin' on what constitutes as a moon in the Oddverse and let me revel in the deja vu of seeing this argument often in the MLP fandom.

Here, it's implied to be years. Centuries. Millennia even. Certainly longer than a month.

Okay, I'd be laughing more genuinely if not for these unsettling lift shots because this subba-hubba-hubba gag is actually funny.

The floor is not lava.

But if you fall, it damn well will be lava.

Okay, I can appreciate the twist, but no amount of money in the world will be able to convince me that this is a dinosaur Nessie. And I'm not talking about plesiosaurs. This is a Dino Dex dinosaur that found its way into this show and this is really just a thinly-veiled crossover.

Headcanon accepted. Try me, bitch. Trailer came out today. Try me.

"The monster was here first. We built HQ over her, that way we can stop her when she wakes up."

So this HQ is underground, to a certain degree. The multi-sub basement is probably near the Earth's core, hence why it's so hot...and since this is a flipped version of Nessie, of course it prefers heat.

Huh. All right. I dig it. Already more sane than building Walmarts on Native American burial grounds, though if she prefers heat sources then I'm sure there's tons of those in the UK.

I honestly don't know who said "worst prize ever" here, but I'm cackling because they haven't even tried to stop her yet and are still in the exposition stage and they're already complaining.

Frankly, though, they're in the right.

Wh...but how, though? Lasers? Gamma radiation? Some kind of opioid released in waves?

I'd think a simple violin could do the trick -- get Orli on that shit -- but this is Odd Squad and so this shall be complicated.

"We just need two worthy agents to be here when she wakes and send her back to sleep."

And you decided on a raffle, wherein you pick...a Scientist and a Security agent? Not, y'know, a Creature Care agent? Are you so low on numbers that you don't have any Creature Care agents?

...No, wait, that's a rhetorical question.

Hoooooold up, hold up. So this episode is gonna run through the span of a year...in 8 minutes?

That's shit I expect from 5-minute My Little Pony Tell Your Tale, not 11-minute Odd Squad.

Putting aside that this is a pretty wild spin on the calendar math moral, Captain O insisting that she's always serious will never not be hilarious.

AND THEY DON'T EVEN USE THE TIME CARD??????????

NOOOOOOOOOO. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. WHOEVER IS IN CHARGE OF EDITING, YOU SADISTIC SHIT I HOPE YOU GET STUFFED INTO A CANNON AND SHOT TO JUPITER. WHY NOT USE THE TIME CARD HUH. H U H .

You know that if Tim had his way, this episode would be over in less than 11 simply by fiddling about with a time machine.

Hey, crazy idea: maybe they could use the TARDIS if it's still in town!

Oper- Agent Ook?

Wow, I didn't realize a cut character from Super Monkey Ball: Banana Rumble was in this show. My little Odd Squad crossover fan project premise is gonna come along real nice.

(This is a joke. There is no Agent Ook in the premise.)

Oh my God...we somehow went from Oswald, to Octavius, to...Ook.

Sure, they tried with the main and side characters' names. One-shots, though? Nope. "Over" was a better name for a character who had Starscream-like motives!

And it's so dusty that she dug it out of the goddamn archives!

Ohhhh...so it's a calendar math moral, but it deals with UK seasons.

Okay. All right. I can dig it, so long as the writing is good and the plot is interesting.

So the UK seasons are just the US seasons but...pushed back by a month?

Oh no. Ohoho no. I can't fault the episode for this. No, no, I'm faulting the entire fucking UK culture. Love you bunches, but what the fuck are your calendar seasons?

(On to Part 2!)

[suhmingo]

TL;DR

Fuckers in school telling me, always in the barber shop Part 2 ain’t bout this, Part 2 ain’t bout that My boy a fraud on fuckin Gege and them He, he they say that he don’t be putting in no work SHUT THE FUCK UP! Y'all ain’t know shit All ya motherfuckers talk about Part 2 ain’t no hitta Part 2 ain’t this Part f a fake SHUT THE FUCK UP Y'all don’t live with Part 2. Y'all know that Part 2 had AQUARIUM ARC, Fighting at the Karaoke and shit. Fujimoto been on no assistant since fuckin… I don’t know when! Motherfuckers stop fuckin' playin' him like that Them devils savages out there If I catch another motherfucker talking sweet about CSM Part 2 I’m fucking beating they ass! I’m not fucking playing no more

In my opinion, Chainsaw Man is going through an evolution. Not an awesome Pokemon evolution (Or digivolution, those are cooler.) But a slower evolution, with all the growing pains that come with it. Many have noticed how “slow” recent arcs have been, or how bad the fights have become. And to be fair, the Quanxi ones are kind of ass if you’re looking for a fight fix. But I will go to bat against basically every other complaint and critique of the pacing, the characterization, and the theming. I think the best way I would describe the pacing is as methodical, or more apropos to my argument, literary.

Now I’m not gonna sit here and say that Jane Austen’s planning the story of Chainsaw Man. To my knowledge, there are no pinups of Elizabeth Bennett anywhere in the book, but I do think that there has been a shift in terms of how the story is told and how much detail it does it in, pushing closer to that of a more detailed plot structure and planning than the fast, weekly pace of a traditional battle manga.

Compared to CSM Part One, CSM Part Two is trying to tell a slower, intricate story with a more human element, rather than the fast, succinct, hard-hitting style that Part One embodied. Where the growing pains fit in is that very change in style is hard to get used to, both for the author and audience. The biggest challenge is that it’s difficult to portray methodical storytelling when on 18-20 manga pages a week, and that the Manga medium as a whole is restrictive in terms of how slow you can and likely should take things. Actually, it just seems pretty restrictive in general.

Part One is a very utilitarian story for most of the first half. There’s exist a devil(s) trying to kill Denji, forcing everyone to work together to beat them, secondary characters die, the villain gets Chainsawed, and by the end of it we get Denji feeling more complex emotions. There are core subplots such as Makima’s mask faltering, and/or Aki or Power breaking down or maturing respectively, but those generally feed back into Denji’s growth. Characters, however developed, live and die based on the completion of their arc or the perspective they bring to the story, and no longer than that. Even Reze, a beloved cutie-pie, has her core arc within 14 chapters. Point is, it’s simple story, and that simplicity allows the bulk of it to be told through action.

Finally, Denji and co have their entire stories resolved within 97 chapters. To put that in perspective, that’s where something like the Arlong Arc Ends, and that’s not even halfway through JJK’s Shibuya Incident. Part one is very much a sprint, with the talent showcase being how well-crafted the story is at that very same pace. It really is a testament to the writing quality of how dense that story feels in that short of a time.

That isn’t to say I’d want that again though. One of the most important aspects of any continuation is to not only progress the story, but also how the story is told. Now that there are established elements to a story, it is a good idea from the creator’s perspective to push the boundaries of what is already established. You could do more of the same, but in my opinion that isn’t as stimulating or fruitful long term. That’s where I think Part Two thrives.

Whereas Part One was more focused on characters realizing the goal they want to achieve and reaching a baseline level of human decency, Part Two is more focused on the struggle of maintaining that humanity in an oppressive and equally depressing world. It’s inherently a meatier concept to explore and requires fewer fights and more introspection. For my two cents, I think Part Two is pretty fantastic at this in the long run, but at the same time the week-to-week chapter focus of Part Two means we as an audience will spend far more time digesting and analyzing the setup compared to an explosive fight scene. I think that’s where the bulk of the frustration comes from with part 2, it’s progressing themes and complexity, but it’s hard to fit that within week-to-week chapters without sacrificing something there before, in this case being the fights.

For starters, there are considerably more subplots and mysteries than in Part One. To name a few, there are:

- Yoshida’s allegiance to Public Safety and has own personal end goals

- Denji’s role as a roommate/big bro/parent to Nayuta, and how that affects his personal goals and future

- Denji’s internal conflict with being Chainsaw Man, it’s future, and what it represents (Which I think is meta-commentary, but that’s for another day.)

- Asa’s internal conflict with herself and Yoru, but mostly herself as well as her desire to be loved/admired.

- Nayuta’ purpose in life as the control Devil and how that comes into conflict with her bond with Denji

- Makima’s lasting influence on Denji mirrored in the form of characters like Fami, Barem, and Nayuta.

- The shipping wars I never thought would show up

- Fami. Just Fami.

- WILL DENJI GET LAID???

That’s probably a non-exhaustive list of general questions that are still up in the air and concurrently being explored. The story has gone from being a subversive battle manga with dramatic themes of existentialism, desire, and love to a drama about existentialism, desire, and love with battle manga elements. There’s a lot more focus on thematic cohesion, whole chapters are now given to exploring a character’s state of mind over plot progression. Part One had its downtime, yes. But I don’t think it had nearly as much internal cringing as Asa has had (To be fair, I don’t think any character ever internally cringe fests as much as Asa does). You need that downtime in an introspective story, hell I’d say that’s the uptime, but it’s very against the grain in what came up as a more mature battle manga, so much so that it feels like tonal whiplash to do so.

It’s easy to see that there’s a lot more setup to an arc before it gets to the payoff. For most of the plot threads listed above, we haven’t even gotten a proper payoff in the chapters we’ve had, something that would have been unheard of in part one. At this point in Part One, we would have been nearing the end game, with the development of the story and cast clearly indicating that.

Furthermore, these conflicts aren’t nearly as “cleanly” resolved as the Part One conflicts, at least as clean as anything involving chainsaw combat can be. The punchline of much of Chainsaw Man’s early arcs comes from the dismal world being undercut by a horny, ADHD-laced, solipsistic teenager's ability to 1v1 most problems. Most of the problems grow increasingly difficult to just Denji them, growing in complexity until the conflicts become more abstract. Something like Denji vs. Reze can be realistically resolved within a fight since they’re goals and objectives make sense to come into conflict. Less so for Denji vs “Gun Fiend” since we all know how well that went down. As things progress, Denji can’t slice his way through consoling Power, nor can Pochita’s powers help him cut through his trauma and self-reflection.

That’s the jumping point Part 2 develops from. None of Denji nor Asa nor Nayuta are able to literally fight their way into achieving their goals. This is a stark contrast for Denji particularly since most of Part 1 has the ostensible goal of “Kill this and I’ll let you get to X Base with me,” which is never actually a resolution to his problems. The end of part one and almost all of part two so far has been focused on conflicts which can’t be meaningfully resolved through a fight. The end of the world is not the final boss of these characters, that only serves to contextualize and add weight to their need to solve their own problems. The characters as we see them are mature enough to identify the problems that hold them back, but not mature enough to actually see them through or see clearly in the moment.

That stuff just needs time to sit and simmer, it’s as simple as that. That’s where the action is going. Fujimoto has to show how much Nayuta means to Denji and Vice Versa, he has to show Asa’s growing feelings for Denji against the wishes of both Yoru and her own ego, and so on and so forth. Notice how most of the villains plans aren’t just simply “Kill chainsaw man” (I think the only exception is like Yoru) They tend to be more complex than that. They either want to evangelize Chainsaw Man or silence his influence. That all needs time to unravel too.

With that much going on, it’s considerably harder to get satisfying moments chapter to chapter. So many things have to be established, developed, put into conflict, that the story cannot go nearly as fast as it did in part one. The writing goes far slower to accommodate these things, but the weekly chapters don’t. They still remain in the 18-20 pages that you come to expect. For that reason, we’re left more time salivating until we reach a conclusion that could be chapters away, and even then that conclusion could just be a setup for a later arc. It’s a much bigger story with more ambition to me, something that you’d see like in a regular sized novel.

But course CSM Isn’t a novel, it’s a serialized shonen with all the prerequisites and industry pressure that comes with it.

It’s no secret that the Manga Industry is cutthroat. It’s basically luck whether your story picks up steam or not (JJK was almost canceled at like Chapter 4, for a recent example.) And once you make it, you have to perform at that same level, with the expectation that you’ll continually improve both your quality and numbers, but mostly the numbers. So it’s only natural that the level of quality of the story is going to dwindle at times. So when chapters are bad, it’s not simply because of sloth or laziness. When deadlines are that tight and success is measured in numbers, it’s a testament to the creativity of many an author that these things even get made at all. Hell, the fact that CSM manages to have such intriguing characters and thematic depth is indicative of the writing chops that ol’ Fuji has.

When I think of it like that, it’s easy to see why Fujimoto would prefer to write than to draw. As a writer, I can definitely say writing isn’t a fast art form (At all.) but I at the very least don’t have to worry about drawing the writing in my head week to week, while also trying to appease longtime reader’s desire for action. You can more quickly explore the ideas that you want to explore by putting words on a page. You want to kill a character it’s as as easy as writing “And then the dagger plunged into their heart.” Ok Ideally it’s a lot better than my asstastic writing, but the point is the same. It’s just one of the more reflexive art forms out there.

That’s kind of all I had to say. Hopefully we can all move on to more productive things, preferably within the hour. Thanks for reading.

[hummingbird-games]

Dev Diaries

October 1, 2023

My goodness, it's the first devlog post-Crushed release!! How did that happen???

And where the heck has 2023 gone?!?! 🙃

Okay, pausing--for like four seconds--on the sillies, I've got some updates for y'all, so have a seat and get comfy.

Crushed updated build is out!!!

Now with the rest of the partial voice acting!!!

It was a super fun experience with the VA and I giggled a lot to hear the words I wrote spoken into existence. I think the next project I work on with voice work will also be partial. However, I can't imagine doing a whole game with full voice work. I can feel the mental break down from that possibility making its descent....

The postmortem was longer than I anticipated it to be, so it shall be posted separately (and with a read more for your scrolling needs) sometime! I go into (more) details on my inspiration and the process from hesitant idea, to jam entry, to a full-blown game, and all the heartbreak and burnout and catharsis in between!

You can also search 'gamedev rambles' or 'crushed vn' where I've already blabbed about Development Tingz LOL.

2. The HBG Twitter account has been nuked.

Yeah. Apologies if this is how you're finding out about it. I honestly have no idea where my audience is located as y'all are a quiet (but supportive) bunch. But for me as a player, it hurts because many of my peers are only on or are most active on Twitter.

However, me and the bird app have been at odds for a while so I guess it was just a matter of time... 🥲

3. Game Jam Gemini Mode

Alright, time to get serious-serious. (HA!)

While I was Fighting The Good Fight concerning getting Crushed up before the summer ended, I started dropping hints about the next project I wanted to work on with Yuri Jam (and Once Upon A Time jam) coming up.

Well. After giving it some thought, forcing myself to pause long enough to breathe, catching up on personal reading and other things, and again, giving it more thought: nope.

I could ignore this decision which I hate and push on anyway, but the consequences are not ones I want to deal with, nor will I be physically able to handle. (Yes, this is a direct reference to my health lol).

My plan about this time was to start reaching out to people and create a team--given that I banged out a script at lighting speed just so I knew what roles I needed and was prepared. I'm still not sure where that burst of frenzied energy came from, but it's gone now.

And then in between making Crushed live and getting the first voiced update done, I started to feel really weird. Like "Hello, Anxiety My Old Friend" weird. And I kept berating myself for dragging my feet, especially as Yuri Jam (and OUAT) are so 'chill' and 'easy-going' and why was I still freaking out? What was wrong with me???

Anyway, once the last voiced update went live, it hit me how utterly exhausted I was. Still am(?) So it's insane to think I was somehow going to have enough energy to lead a whole ass team to create one more project before the year ends. Even if said project was under 5k words.

Even as I write this saying I'm done, a part of me keeping scheming up ways to make it work.

But I wouldn't be doing it for the right reasons anyway (i.e. feeling like I should participate in more jams because every other developer is and I'm a bad indie dev if I don't, and feeling this desperation to prove I can tell other kinds of stories. ahahahaha)

A L S O I am broke 😂 And money talks louder than anything else!! This was the year--and continues to be the year-- of medical expenses and emergencies so like...gotta recover from that too.

The Knight Dance (my short Yuri idea) shall return, but next year at the earliest. And who knows? It might benefit from me not working on it now. Or that's what I'm telling myself so my brain will chill.

4. Tackling Ko-fi

I keep saying I'm going to start putting content on ko-fi, or posts, or something, and I keep proving to be a liar. That ends soon!

I've been playing around with the idea of adding both content for subs and one-time donators as well as free content, these things all exclusive to ko-fi. So there's an incentive to you guys to visit and an incentive for me to keep up with it.

There's a lot to the world of HSD/Crushed that just didn't make it into the games, and probably won't for a while, and then there are drabbles and longer stories that would be fun to write and share for anyone who's curious.

Okay!!!

In conclusion!!!

Go play Crushed!! Go support some game Kickstarters!! Go support a Pateron/Ko-fi of your fave creator!! Go replay some games!!

And watch this space for the Crushed postmortem and my yearly games & demos wrap up!!

And maaaaaaaybe catch me on the sideblog where I embody the cringe gamer girl I truly am???

~ Gemini

[sucktacular]

Let me give you an ask I know you'll love. Top 5 moments from death note, any version including light novels is 👌🏼

OKay this is SO late because I wasn't using my desktop for a hot second and mobile doesn't like to tell me about inbox messages, but I also didn't check so that's my bad! <3 But both of y'all asking about top 5 death note momence has me so <3 <3 <3 ; w ;

Okay so I will preface this with: it has been a very hot minute since I read LABB so as much as I'm obsessed with it entirely, I probably forgot some very good moments. u_u These are gonna be silly moments cuz I like the funnies.

Starting at number 5 and going to my favorite moment:

5. The entire time Light is under house surveillance. From the weirdly conservative and leisurely skimming of lingerie mags to look like an average, regular teen (not believable). To the famous "I'll take a potato chip... heh... AND EAT IT!" scene. Classic.

4. I think it's like 1 week max since Light had got the Death Note. Lind L. Taylor shows up on tv and Light is like ??. He introduces himself as "L", says I have a pretty good idea of why you're doing this, but "what you are doing... is evil!". And Light IMMEDIATELY is like oh FUCK this guys ENTIRE life. DIE! Which also outs his location like entirely, LOL. Idk it's just very funny to me. Anti-kira? CANCELLED... LIVE!!!

3. Light and L's fist fight(s). Love watching these homophobic gays fight each other with their bare hands and get knocked around because they're chained together. They clearly love it too and I wish they'd get their hands dirty a bit more often instead of just always using their massive brains to have dirty brain sex.

2. From the LABB Murder Cases, Chapter 5, Page 117-119: A very close second favorite part of mine is when Naomi comes up from the kitchen at a crime scene with some coffee on a tray for her and Rue Ryuzaki (private detective and Freak). She opens the door and askes if he found any more clues and then notices he's just laying in the middle of the room, flat on his back, arms and legs sprawled out like a star fish. She's frozen looking at this dude and then repeats the question and is kinda worried he's gonna start crawling around with his back arched like in some horror movie (ps. For context: she found this guy at a crime scene when she looked under the bed and he crawled out from under it (hes a seasoned on-all-fours crawler), and ate a jar of jam with his bare hands for lunch. amongst... other things. so she's already going THROUGH it with this dude). He doesn't respond and shes like uhm? and he says "I'm a corpse." "Hunh??" "I have become a corpse. I cannot answer. I am dead." She's bewildered but just accepts it and ponders how to get around this dude so she can put the coffee tray down. She eventually goes to jump over him but completely fucks it and steps, in boots, right on his gut. In an attempt to catch her balance and not spill the hot coffee on him and everywhere she puts her entire weight on him." "Gah!" said the corpse." "S-sorry!" she remarks and then they carry on. I'd give anything to be a fly on the wall with these two.

From the LABB Murder Cases, Chapter 2, Page 55-56: My favorite part of the book (tho honestly there are so many so don't quote me on that lol) is when Naomi goes into the bathroom to speak to L on the phone about the case at hand. She reports that a strange private detective is there helping her. To which L asks point blank: "Is he cool?" and shes like.... what? and he repeats the question and she's still unsure how to answer such a question, but lays it on THICK. She's dead honest and is like this guy SUCKS, he's quite honestly a PATHETIC FREAK and a WEIRDO "and I'm surprised he hasn't killed himself yet". I'm crying! She said that!! There is silence and L changes the subject back to the case. BUT the best part is she leaves the bathroom to go back to investigating and the "freak" in question (Rue Ryuzaki) is standing right there and was most likely eaves dropping on the whole conversation she just had. The whole scene has me hollering entirely and I think about this art done by @/ekmeko everyday. Link

[scarlett-vixen]

Pirate Mammon Pt. 2

Summary: This event has given me so many ideas so I made a second part of my Pirate Mams HC's! I know in the event they aren't brothers but in my little world they are or Mams at least sees them as brothers found family trope? Anyway, I hope y'all enjoy these as much as I do because I literally can't stop thinking about this boy.(I apologize for any grammar mistakes)

Part 1 here

Mammon isn’t afraid of other pirates and will face off against anyone who threatens his brothers or you and while Mams may try to tell you “I ain’t afraid of nothin!” he most certainly is and that’s:

👑 Sea Monsters!

👑 The boy is terrified of them and will not stay on deck to fight one. Lucifer has literally had to pull him by the collar out from below deck to help “All hands on deck means YOUR HANDS TOO MAMMON!” There may or may not be claw marks on the walls where he tried to hold on while Lucifer pulled him.

👑 If you’re the type of person who also hates things from below the sea, then he’ll use you as an excuse to not fight “Gotta keep ‘em safe Lucifer! Yer not gonna make them stay up here with us are ya?? They aren’t fit enough to fight off that thing!” Against Lucifer’s better judgment he’ll let Mammon take you below deck, no point in wasting his breath while this thing attacks the ship.

👑 If you’re intrigued or amazed by the sea dwelling beasts like Leviathan then he’ll swallow his fear and stay to fight, he wouldn’t want to look like a coward in front of you. He’ll make sure you’re not getting hit by blows from the creature or his brothers and will shield you from flying debris.

👑 Once the monster is defeated Satan always ends up studying the creature to better prepare for next time and if Mammon notices you hanging around to help him, he’ll get a little jealous and try to get your attention. After a few failed attempts he’ll huff and give up, that doesn’t mean he’s going to leave you two alone though. Instead, he sits off to the side making little comments about how he’s a lot more interesting than a dead sea slug.

👑 Anytime you guys dock at a new island and are given free time to explore the city he is IMMEDIATELY pulling you off in some direction away from the others. Occasionally he’ll let Levi follow you two but not without putting up a fight first, Levi will look to you for help with sad eyes, you’ll question Mams about what the big deal is, he’ll get flustered and give in quickly. He’ll begrudgingly let Levi tag along, but he’ll pull Levi to the side and tell him he only gets to join if he promises not to distract you from The Great Mammon.

👑 Master of excuses and fake illnesses!

👑 Every now and then Mammon will get a bad feeling about an island and will try and come up with some reason why he can’t go to shore. Much like another pirate I love

👑 Lucifer will ask what his problem is this time and in return get “I have a bad case of ‘cantgoonthatisland’ disease, too bad! Guess I won’t be joinin ya!” Lucifer has heard it all at this point however, he knows the one cure for all of Mammon’s fake little illnesses. “Yes, that is rather unfortunate Mammon, I guess you’ll just have to stay here on the ship… MC you can stick with Asmo and I while we explore the island.” It’s a miracle from the skies above, Mammon has been fully cured and is already off the ship ready to go!

👑 Tease him about it P L E A S E not only because its cute to watch him turn red but also Lucifer hopes that if you tease him enough, he’ll stop coming up with illogical diseases.

👑 In a perfect world Mammon would never let you leave his side, but unfortunately that’s not how it always plays out. Being one of the toughest in the crew he usually gets the more dangerous parts of being a pirate, while others like Asmo and Belphie get tasked to watch/protect the ship. Typically, Lucifer will demand you stay on ship when things get risky and Mammon agrees, the battlefield is no place for his treasure to be --- HIS FRIEND HE SAID HIS FRIEND SHUT UP! STOP GIGGLING!

👑 Mammon will give his brothers the same speech every time: “You guys better be EXTRA careful alright! Lucifer will tie ya to the mast if you let something bad happen!! I swear if there’s a single scratch on ‘em when we get back there’ll be hell to pay! Got it??”

Belphie: “Is he talking about the ship or MC?”

Asmo: “Honestly is that even a question at this point?”

👑 Despite lecturing them for twenty minutes before Lucifer smacks him, Mammon knows his brothers are more than capable of protecting you. They may not be as tough as him and Lucifer but that does NOT make them weak, may the heavens help the poor souls that try to raid the ship while those two are watching it.

👑 If you’re the type to challenge Lucifer and demand that you not be left on the ship, then he’ll put you with Beel and Satan. You can join the land crew, but you will not be going with the three eldest, that’s putting you too close to the danger. Mammon will also lecture these two about keeping you safe, but Satan is more interested in studying the local flora/fauna than listening to another tsundere lecture and Beel has already started walking away with you in tow. Beel will carry you if you ask

👑 If you end up with injuries, be it major or minor you can guarantee Mammon is there to take care of you. He’ll watch Satan very closely as he cleans you and places bandages on your injuries, mainly so he can help you change them when the time comes but also, he’s so WORRIED.

👑 Will absolutely blame himself if you get hurt! Even if you simply tripped on the deck and scraped your knee, poor boy is concerned.

👑 Has absolutely had nightmares about not being able to save one of his brothers/you in a fight and wakes up in a cold sweat each time. If it was about a brother, he’ll quietly open the door to their room to make sure they’re okay (except Lucifer and Satan, he’ll just wait until breakfast to check on them) but if it was about you? He’s in your room in a heartbeat. If you’ll allow it, he’ll crawl into bed and just hold you until he drifts back off to sleep. If you’re not comfortable with that then he’ll sit on the floor leaning against your bed the rest of the night, he probably won’t fall back asleep but as long as he knows you’re safe that’s what matters.

👑 I said this in the first part, but he absolutely adores watching you fight! He's your biggest supporter cheering you on while simultaneously covering you from more foes. Will come completely unhinged if some jerk manages to land a blow on you, the minute he sees a spot of blood on you that doesn’t belong to your opponent he’s stepping in front of you to finish the guy off.

👑 Let’s talk about Wanted Posters!! More specifically how Mammon flaunts his and will boast anytime his bounty is raised. Has the third highest bounty on the crew and takes that as a challenge, will he ever learn? Probably not but it’s fun to watch him go for it!

👑 When you finally get your own wanted poster, he and Asmo both make a big deal out of it! “This makes you a real pirate now! Guess you’re stuck with us for good!” “Oooooh look how CUTE you are in your poster! Not as cute as me but very close!”

👑 Lucifer will place it on the board in his quarters along with everyone else’s, he’ll congratulate you on the achievement “Perhaps you could have the third highest bounty soon and replace Mammon” Mams will agree and then realize what just happened, who cares he’s so proud of you right now.

👑 Will find a copy of your poster and hang it up in his room someone love this man already. Little does he know you also have HIS wanted poster hanging in your room!

👑 Actually he came to get you for dinner one evening and happened to catch a glimpse of it on the wall, whatever he was saying when he first opened the door was never finished because he took off before you could see him become an absolute mess. Locked himself in his room and if you listened closely, you could hear his muffled screams that night.

👑 WILL LET YOU WEAR HIS COAT!!! If you mention it being kind of breezy or if you look cold he’ll wrap you in his coat and blush because holy shit?? Why are you so adorable? You’ll be the death of him one day. “Gotta get you warmer clothes… until then ya can keep my coat, I don’t need it out here anyway”

👑 One time he found you asleep on the deck. Some of the others were playing cards nearby but they hadn’t noticed you doze off. He covered you with his coat because you looked a little cold and about had a heart attack when you stirred in your sleep and wrapped yourself in his coat more.

👑 If you ever somehow got kidnapped, this man is on the hunt faster than any hound dog has ever been. He will stop at NOTHING until he finds the scum that nabbed you, even ignoring Lucifer’s warning about how they’re probably using you as bait for the rest of them. Mams does not care. They took his most valuable treasure and he’s NOT going to rest until they’ve paid for doing so. Watching him fight in general is *chef’s kiss* but watching him fight for YOU? And your safety? Absolutely stunning. Even with one eye he has incredible aim and speed, he’s wiped out half the room before the rest of your crew can show up to help.

👑 Will act like he doesn’t need medical attention even if he has cuts all over. Satan knows how stubborn he is and won’t fight him unless he’s concerned about severe infection. But if you start scolding him about cleaning his wounds and drag him to the medical bay to start doing it yourself, he will not resist. He’ll give his little protest about how they’re “barely even scratches, ‘S not worth it” but will also let you drag him half away across the ship while doing so.

👑 Absolutely melts the minute you start cleaning him up, can not keep eye contact though. In fact, you’d be lucky if he even looked in your direction, more than likely he’ll turn away and stare at pictures on the wall or down at his boots in hopes that you won’t see the blush covering his cheeks and you won’t notice how it’s spreading up to his ears and he PRAYS you can’t feel his pulse racing while you bandage his wrist.

👑 Once you finish, he’ll say something dumb like “Course ya wanna take care of me, who’d protect you if I wasn’t around?” he’ll try and tease you for worrying about him and taking care of him but on the inside, he’s thinking of a hundred ways to repay you.

[beels-burger-babe]

A Little Voice Told Me - Pt.2

Poly! MC Summary: Words hurt and leave their scars. MC learns this the hard way after hearing some not-so-nice whispers about them while on a date with Beel. How are they supposed to be the partner of the seven lords of the Devildom when they just don't measure up? Part 1: HERE, Part 3: HERE ***Good Golly!! Y'all really like the angst, huh? Here you guys go. Cry your hearts out and enjoy! - B*** Beelzebub woke up the rest of his brothers early the next morning. While most of them attempted to flip him off or threaten him at the initial disturbance, all it took was him saying that they needed to talk about you for them to shoot out of bed. In a matter of minutes, all of them, except Levi, were seated around the breakfast table. "If we're talking about MC, why aren't they here?" Satan asked while poking at a piece of fruit. "I don't know about you, but I personally don't feel right talking about them behind their back." Belphie scoffed and laid his head in his arms. "It's not like we're gossiping about them or anything. They were acting off last night, and Beel thought we should discuss what we're gonna do about it." Beel nodded, "They pulled into themself halfway through the night, and was upset but kept brushing me off whenever I tried to talk to them about it." Mammon huffed and crossed his arms. "Maybe they just didn't feel like they could talk to ya about it," he rose to his feet and began to walk towards the door. "I'm the first! I'm sure I can get it out of them, easy peasy! I'll just head in there and-" "Mammon, sit down!" Lucifer hissed. Mammon grumbled under his breath but did as told. Lucifer sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "We've talked about this. Stop bringing up the whole 'first man' thing. MC is in a relationship with all of us. Not just you." The second-born pouted and stabbed an egg with his fork.

Lucifer rolled his eyes at his brother's antics and looked back at Beel. "Something clearly happened during the date. Do you have any ideas at all at what it could've been?" Asmodeus stirred a swirly straw around in his drink. "I mean, I would be pretty upset if I spent three hours of my evening at a barbaric sporting event too," Asmo chuckled and smirked. "The only good thing about sports is that you get to see all those rippling muscles of the athletes in action." Beel scowled at his brother took a bite out of the omelet that was on his plate. "It wasn't because of the game. MC loves coming to my Fangol games and was having a blast with me until halftime. Something had to have happened while I was gone." Asmodeus opened his mouth to counter the statement when Leviathan came rushing into the room carrying his laptop. Lucifer raised an eyebrow at the sight, "What have I told you about devices at the table?" Leviathan shot him an annoyed look as he plopped down in one of the chairs. "This isn't about table etiquette. This is about MC," he looked over at Beel and Belphie. "I think I have an idea on what may have caused them to start distancing themselves." Everyone perked up in interest at the news; each one of them eager to know what was distressing their loved one so much that they felt like they couldn't talk to them. "Well are you going to tell us, or are you just going to sit there?" Satan quipped, his anger beginning to get the better of him as he sat on the edge of his seat. Levi gave him a flat look before he typed a few things on his keyboard. "I was doing a raid last night trying to keep my mind off of what might've happened with MC and decided to ask my party members about it," Leviathan's expression darkened as he began to explain. It was clear to everyone that whatever was said, wasn't taken lightly by the otaku. Rather than reading the conversation out loud, he turned his laptop screen for all his brothers to see. Leviachan: Gaaah! I just can't focus on the game tonight. My partner came back from a date tonight and has been acting kind of sus. There's definitely something bothering them, but they refuse to tell anyone. Ruri-Chans-Husbando: Dude, you're talking about that stupid human right? Why are you even with them? You shouldn't give a Normie like them the time of day. Waifu-Addict: Exactly! Listen, we've all been talking and you need to drop that whore. They're totally just using you and your brothers for your titles and power. The demons read in horror and rage as the chat room filled with messages from the members of Leviathan's party all saying similar garbage about you and degrading you in every way they could think of. Satan stood up and began to pace near the table as he used every inch of his self-control to keep himself from lashing out. "I want names, Levi. Who are they and why do they seem to think it's okay to talk about MC like- like that?!" Satan snarled as he curled his hands into fists. Levi tsked and crossed his arms, as Lucifer took the laptop to look more closely at the messages. "You say that as if I haven't already used my 'title and power' as Grand Admiral to have my men collect and imprison them. They're at the navy base waiting for us to get our hands on them as soon as we sort this whole mess out." Belphie growled, now sitting up and wide awake. "Get our hands on them is right. No one gets away with this shit," Asmodeus glared at the computer as though it had just dyed all of his clothing brown. "Rotten brats. They're all just jealous of stunning MC. Ugh, Diavolo, haters are the worst." Beel pushed his plate away from himself as he frowned deeply. "As disgusting and horrible as this is, what does it have to do with MC getting all quiet during our date?" A low rumble came from Lucifer as he handed the laptop back to Levi. A fiery hatred was burning brightly in his eyes as he gritted his teeth. "If a bunch of anti-social shut-ins are going around talking about our dearest MC like this, I believe Leviathan's point is that others probably are."

"Ouch. I wasn't going to say it l-like that, but yes," Levi winced and continued, "MC probably overheard people saying something about them. I mean, if people said that crap about me I'd probably hide in my room and not come out for months!" Mammon, who had been surprisingly quiet during all of this, had a very serious expression on his face. "Right, and we don't want MC to go through that. For Diavolo's sake, they've left alone to overthink this enough," Mammon stood up and headed towards the door again, Satan hot on his trail. "I'm going up to there to talk with them. Ya'll are welcome to come with, but you ain't stoppin' me." "Actually, Mammon, you're not. We should wait until MC comes to us," Lucifer interrupted. An animalistic snarl tore its way from Satan's throat as what little self-control he had snapped. Wrath incarnate lunged himself at Lucifer, grabbing his older brother by the collar of his cloak. "Are you serious, Lucifer?! You're seriously putting your stupid pride first, now?!? MC needs us!" Lucifer growled and pushed Satan off of him as he stood to size him up. "No. What they need is to not feel pressured to open up when they aren't ready! We can't make them feel like they can't come to us!" Mammon scoffed from where he stood in the back. "Oh, cause that's perfect logic! News flash, oh wise one, They ain't gonna come to us if they're thinkin' they're a burden! But you wouldn't know anything about that would you?!" Lucifer's eyes widen and he took a step back in shock at the statement. "What is that supposed to mean?" Mammon and Satan both opened their mouths to put Lucifer in his place when Beel all of sudden cleared his throat loudly. All three of the angry demons turned to snap at him but froze as they saw you standing in the room behind them. They instantly straightened themselves up gave you their full attention. The air seemed to lay still between you as everyone waited for the other to make the first move. As with almost every situation, it was Mammon who broke the silence. He took a step towards you. "MC, I was just coming to get you actually. There's somethin' we all wanna talk to you about." They could hear your breath catch in your throat as you took a step back. Panic filled your eyes the moment the words left his mouth. "O-Oh. I, um, I was actually just going to grab an apple and then head off to RAD for class. M-Maybe we can talk afterwards?" Satan frowned as you walked past him towards the fruit bowl. "MC, it's the weekend." You stopped mid-step. An uncomfortable tension filled the room as the obvious excuse was exposed. The brothers waited for you to move, to speak, to do something to give them any sort of sign for what you wanted them to do, but you just stood there, still like a statue except for the tremors in your hand. "Come on, Darling," Asmodeus spoke softly. His face clearly showed the hurt and concern that was coursing through him. "Everything's alright, I promise. We just need to talk about a few things." The brothers had thought of a number of ways you could've reacted to them confronting you. Lucifer thought that perhaps you would snap at them and distance yourself further. Mammon, Levi, and Asmo expected a few small tears followed by a cuddle session. Satan imagined a slightly more dramatic telling, like something from one of his novels, that ended him being your hero and massacring all those who dared speak ill about you. Beel thought perhaps you could talk over a bunch of comfort foods that allowed you to remain calm and feel safe. Belphie had hoped that perhaps you hadn't believed what you overheard, and the two of you could laugh at how idiotic even the idea of them not loving you was. But you, breaking down into tears, sobbing the words "I'm sorry" over and over again? None of them had expected, nor were prepared, for that. ***Apparently this is now going to be a three-part series. This part was interesting to write. I fully believe that if the brothers were in a poly relationship with the MC they would definitely bicker and argue about

who knows MC best and who had the better date whenever MC isn't around. Honestly, they probably have a score chart 😅 I hope you guys liked part 2! Keep an eye out for part 3, where MC finally opens up to the boys and we have some hurt/comfort times \uwu/ ***